In keeping true to the title of this blog, how about a little update on a few things I have learned in the past few months? According to my recollection, the last epitome I experienced was way back in November when my four month go-around with the dentist began. As of yesterday at 3:22 p.m. I am officially done with what was beginning to feel like weekly injections of Novocaine. Honestly, I don't think I'll miss the sensation this wonderful modern day dentistry practice has provided me with over the last 16 or so weeks. However, don't get me wrong, when it comes to numbing the heck out of my face so as not to feel the jackhammer drill on my teeth I have no objections. In fact, I made this very clear to the Endodontist who performed my root canal and he happily gave me enough anesthetic so that it felt as if I suffered a stroke. The whole right side of my face was completely numb, even my ear...yes, I said my EAR. It is after the procedure is over when this miracle liquid switches from being a god-sent drug to an annoyance. I don't know anyone who loves to talk as if their tongue is missing when they get called on in class to express their opinion, or just the simple fact that your lip and cheek feel ten times their original size. Plus, I can't eat until the sensation is gone because my mouth can't decipher between what is food or skin tissue when it's full on Novocaine. Nonetheless, I'm done. That is until July when I go back for my semi-annual cleaning...and when I call an oral surgeon to have my wisdom teeth taken out (cause I have to have all 4)...but until then...I am DONE.
Lately, my mind has been a little cra-cra (a teenage slang term for "crazy"), but I think things are beginning to sort themselves out. There have been a few nights where I tossed and turned and woke up every hour on the hour. The last few nights have brought some relief, thankfully, and I have only woken up about one to two times throughout the evening. I think having a few serious "pillow talks" with Jordan have helped a great deal and he has aided in putting things in perspective for me. According to my last post, I informed everyone that I was questioning a lot if things in my life at the current and I knew that if I just trusted in the people I loved and the Lord who loves me then everything would work out...and it has. So this is what I have learned during my week and a half vacation from reality (notice the gap in Blog postings ;))
1.) I will never stop growing and maturing and my thirst for knowledge will never be quenched. There will always be questions that have no answers, and as frustrating as this may be to come to accept, I've learned that somethings are best left undiscovered. As I continue to age and gain new information about myself and the world around me, my opinions about others and facts will change with the weather. I am most certainly thankful that I have so many older and wiser people to turn to who can answer some of these unknowns. Although I feel old and mature, I know there are so many things I have yet to learn and I hope these same people I turn to will be patient as I find myself in our rapidly changing society.
2.) People change with the seasons and I am most definitely one of them. Even though I knew this coming into college and anticipated this fact to occur, the ways in which people changed surprised me, for I was wrongly under the impression that people only changed in one way. I learned that even the people you care the most about have their own internal battles to fight and no matter how much you try and persuade them, they will ultimately make their own decisions, even if that means distancing themselves very far away from you. People are going to be coming and going from my life all the dang time, so I had better get used to it, for nothing is permanent (except maybe love...that is one theory I am not strong enough to test out just yet). Along these same lines, I have learned that some people mature more quickly than others and some, when faced with the truth, choose to either embrace the harshness of reality or run and hide in their own little haven. I can't not begin to express how much this last one has frustrated me over the past seven months, but I have accepted the fact that even thought these people are choosing to live a life I do not agree with it, it's not my life, so why should it even really matter? I know what makes me happy and that is the only thing important.
3.) Whenever I think I have finished the battle and won the war, I turn the corner to realize that the burden I just overcame was a mere molehill compared to the mountain of life I have yet to climb. Since about October I have been reading the blogs of older, wiser women who have been there and done that and it made me come to terms with the fact that even though I may feel like I have fought through every struggle life can throw at you, I am only just beginning to get a taste of what life has to offer, both good and bad. I hope that in reading these wonderful blogs I can begin to prepare myself to combat the hardships and changes life is going to bring me as long as I have faith in myself and God who is becoming more of an influence in my life than ever before.
4.) Furthermore, my relationship with Jordan will always be changing, but in a good way. We've been together for about three years and four months now. Not nearly as long as other couples I know, but long enough to where there are hardly any secrets / surprises between us. I see other couples who have just begun their courtship and remember how that felt when me and Jordan were freshly entering the dating scene. I'll admit, it was fun and exciting to be in a new relationship, to be up all night getting to know each other and spending every waking moment together. However, even though those days may be near their end, I am happy with the way things are now. My cute new boyfriend has turned into my best friend, the person who knows me inside and out, who I can no longer hide anything from because he can tell how I feel just from the expression on my face or they way I sigh. Who even though there is nothing new between us we are still able to experience everything new in life...together. I've learned that it isn't always easy, and even though we have overcome a lot in the past, we have a lot to deal with in the future and if we have any hope of making it, it is most definitely going to take work and patience. Nonetheless, I can't imagine anyone else I would rather fight for.
My mind is still growing. My personality is still being shaped. My world will forever be changing. Thankfully, I have had and will continue to have the help of my elders to guide me through life and hopefully, one day, I too can help make a difference in someone's life.
Until then,
happy trails.
1 comment:
Awesome post!
Post a Comment