Warning: The Following is a Sunday Scribbling with a lack of Optimism

I don't even know where to start today. I've been in a kind of funk since the semester began. My brain woke up from its 45+ day hibernation and now it's in overload mode. I think it's trying to make up for the absence of critical thought. I feel as if I have to share my knowledge and my opinions with others because if I don't my brain will go into a sort of constant spin motion where all I can think about is life, the world, the economy, and the new Obama administration. I think I am going a little crazy. Maybe it's just my brain's way of trying to compute all the new information I've received since I returned last week. I wish it would end soon because any more nights of restless sleep and I might just sell all my shoes, grow out my hair, move out of my apartment, don a mu-mu and live underneath the century oak with my guitar and sing Peter, Paul and Mary tunes for the rest of my life.

Growing up can be stressful on the mind.

I've been questioning a lot of things lately. Namely, prayer and devotion, my career track, my relationship, society, school, etc. All of this has made me frustrated. Frustrated over small things too, like other people criticizing me for the choices I have made. Seems to me sometimes that the world doesn't want me to succeed. My peers sure don't that's for sure. I don't understand why it's so hard for some to grasp the idea of bettering their lives. Plus, it amazes me that sometimes, no matter how much I try to move on with my life, others are still stuck in their bubble of a world. I wish they would just realize that everyone wants different things and being different isn't always wrong. Is it so wrong for me to want great things for my life?

I just want to be taken seriously.

I don't want to be treated like a teenager anymore. I am at an awkward age where I feel mature enough to handle my life as an adult but society doesn't. I believe that sometimes, growing up isn't just hard for the individual, but for all those surrounded by and a part of that person's life. Mostly, I think I feel this way because this is a part of who I am. I have always been an independent person, but its hard being on your own when there are still strings attached. One of the things I cherish about living independently is the freedom I have to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whom ever I want. If I want to study all night, I will. If I want to do only half of my homework assignment and pay for the consequences later, I will. There is just so much more satisfaction in life when you know you have achieved something great all on your own.

I want to achieve my goals at my own pace.

Of course, the above statement will most likely never occur, because I would be nowhere if it weren't for the people in my life. As much as I say I love to do things on my own, I admit that in moments of weakness I need God and family to help me get through them. I thank them for the patience they have to put up with my stubbornness. Whenever I begin to question my motives they are always there to extend a reassuring hand. I love them for it. As of present, I am having a moment of doubt, but I know deep down that if I trust in the right people, everything will work out.

I do hope I am not going crazy...Maybe it's time for some Food Network or something.