As you may have noticed, other than the post I put in the wee hours of this morning, my blog took a little vacation. It was Christmas after all, and to be honest I really wasn't expecting to come back until after the new year. However, the writer in me has to escape every few days or I begin to turn into this emotional monster.
Which is exactly what happened.
Go ahead and blame hormones (actually, that IS why I've been such a mess lately) but I won't deny that I have been a little less than peachy in the past week or two. A sour attitude is really unlike me and I hated it. I had a case of the blues, and even the Holidays were having a hard time cheering me up. Nonetheless, I am slowly coming out of my slump and returning to my cheery self.
Thank God.
I could blog about Christmas and list all the love and presents my family shared last week. I just don't have the energy to purge every single detail onto my keyboard, but I will say this:
1.) Grandma's on Christmas Eve was fantastic! We laughed and made new memories. It was an awesome time.
2.) Christmas day was good as well. Santa brought me new sheets and a bed spread. Thankfully too, because I was getting tired of the one I currently owned.
3.) Jordan gave me an accessory item for my laptop computer and dance lessons with the Aggie Wranglers! It's the advanced dance lessons since we already know how to Polka and 2-step. This will consists of learning how to do fun twists, turns, and anything else fancy! I'm excited!
4.) went to Houston the day after Christmas to visit with Jordan's father and stepmother. Maybe I'll save this for another blog....
All in all, it was time well spent with family and I loved every minute.
Now, back to some random ramblings. Since I am moving at the end of the summer I have begun to think about where I will reside come the fall semester of '09. My current residence has gotten too expensive and a roommate swap is definitely in store so I've been trying to think about exactly what I want for a new temporary home. While pondering over such thoughts, I was reminded of the time I spent living with the best roommate I ever had. My older sister Shelly. We lived in a 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment that was dirt cheap. We rarely argued and had the most fun together!
Example A:
You've probably figured out by now that my sister discovered a roach (yes, a ROACH) in her bedroom. I guess the dirt cheap rent came with a price. Thankfully, we called over Jordan and his roommate just in time to destroy the scariest insect to ever roam the earth. After this incident, we immediately went out and bought every single roach motel Walmart had to offer, plus an array of bug sprays. Our self-exterminating efforts worked, we only saw two more hellacious creatures the remaining two years we spent there.
Thank God.
But oh, how I miss those times.
Happy New Year everyone!
- Shirley :)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I'll never let him go
I know I talk about Jordan a lot...a whole, whole lot...but he's such a major part of my life its hard to write about my life without him in it. I also realize that it may be hard for some people to realize why he's so important to me and how we can be so devoted to each other at such a young age, but if you knew even half the story then maybe you could begin to understand.
You see, my mother was taken from me when I was fourteen. Two weeks shy of starting my freshman year in high school. I was distraught, and for the first time I began to question my faith. Why did God take away my mother when I had been praying so hard for the past four years for her health to improve? Why did he do this to my family? She was so wonderful and so perfect, it just didn't make sense. I kept going to church and prayed for an answer. Then, one night at my youth group bible study (which was held on my 15th birthday to be exact), we read a passage that answered everything I had been questioning. I couldn't tell you which book it was from, but I do remember that all is said was do not worry about what God has planned for you, he loves you, and everything he does is always for the better. I knew deep down that God would never do anything so hurtful without good reason. I had to keep my faith and no matter how much it hurt, I trusted God to show me why my mother was taken from me at such a young age.
In 2004, we moved to Moulton, Tx. We left the pain and the memories behind in Houston and aimed for a new start. It was my mother's dream to own a farmhouse out in the country and my father kept this promise to her by retiring from his job, selling our suburban home in West University Place, and building the house of her dreams from where of which I am typing out this very blog.
In 2005, my prayers were answered. I met Jordan Michael Dees and suddenly everything made sense. For if my mother would have never gone up to her heaven, we would have never of moved, and I would have never of met the one person who understands me more than anyone else I have ever known.
I'll admit, it wasn't instant. We were friends first for a good year and a half. In fact, at the beginning of my senior year I swore off guys and had no intentions of dating until way into my college years. This just proves that no matter how hard we try, God is the ultimate ruler and only he knows what is best. It came from no where. I had no desire to fall for someone, I didn't even try, it all happened just so naturally. We began talking a little more and more everyday and the more we talked the more I wanted to spend time with him. Soon, we had our first kiss (I made the move because...well...he's Jordan) and the next day he asked me out. I told him I didn't know because I was scared to get my heart broken. It didn't take me long to realize that I would be extremely stupid if I let this boy go, so on Halloween I said yes...and it began. 3 months later he told me he loved me and I expressed to him the same.
I have never meant it more in my life.
The first year was perfect. We were young and in love. We thought nothing could go wrong.
That is where we were wrong.
Jordan's past came back to haunt him. Since the beginning of our courtship, I knew the emotional issues he had been dealing with for most of his life (for privacy reasons I will not go into them) and did everything possible to help him through it. During high school it worked, but when we entered the college world, science took over. I never really understood what anxiety or depression was, but suddenly here I was with a class A example: my boyfriend and my best friend whom I had to watch experience this painful time.
It wasn't easy.
It gripped him like a vice. He became angry. His temper grew short. His grades began to suffer. Our relationship was on the brinks.
We struggled. We fought. We cried. I did my best to understand. Here was this boy I loved, trying to grow into a man, and fighting this mind-stealing disease. I cried with him on so many nights, helping him to understand that no matter what he was feeling I still loved him. It hurt me so much to see him the way he was. It hurt our relationship so much. I knew the real Jordan. The Jordan I knew was the sweetest most unselfish person I had ever known. A boy who rarely became angry and could make me laugh like no other. Where did the Jordan I know and fall in love with go?
He was still there, he was just sick.
Finally, I convinced him to talk to a doctor. First he went to a joke of a M.D. who prescribed him on a type of medicine that did everything opposite of what we wanted to accomplish. To make it clear on what I mean by opposite I'll say this: one day, I beat him in a football video game on Xbox and he punched a hole in the wall. Ya, no exactly what we were aiming for. I don't remember what the medicine was called, but after 6 months of using it we went back and demanded for something else.
We went to a new doctor. An angel sent from Heaven actually. Of course, taking him off of one medicine and prescibing a new one wasn't going to be that easy. He had to rid his body of the junk he was currently taking before he could begin the new one.
Medication withdrawls are no fun.
The next 4 months I watched Jordan's body fight off the crazy-ass pills Dr. knows-no-sense made him take. This was no easy task for our relationship either. There was more crying, more fighting, and more praying to God. Together, we fought through each obstacle, worked through each argument, and kept our faith. I wasn't about to let the boy who changed my world succumb to a mental illness. It was tough. We experienced more in one year than some couples experience in a life time. We had to deal with REAL issues, not pity drama like most nineteen year olds were experiencing at our age, but real, life saving issues.
We overcame.
One morning I woke up, and he was back. My best friend had returned. Actually, to tell the truth, he never left. Soon, we were back to the way things had been before. We were laughing together, loving each other, and spending every waking moment with each other. Our love matured and grew deeper with every morning sunrise. Jordan struggled with something he could not control, and the turmoil it caused him to be fighting his emotions 24/7 created so much stress on himself and our relationship that it became hard. Somehow though, through all the tough times, even when moments were at their lowest, I still loved him. I loved him so much that I stood by him through it all and helped him as much as I could. His happiness meant everything to me, for he had made me happier than anyone I knew. I just wanted to return the favor.
It paid off.
38 months later we are still together and still very deeply in love. We very rarely fight, and when we do its typical couple bickers. You see, Jordan saved me from the throws of my own depression. He saved me from the darkness of my mother's death and answered my prayers. He gave me a reason to live again. In a way, I saved Jordan too, I saved him from the painful memories of his childhood and the repurcussions it was taking on his adult life by standing by him and holding his hand everytime he had an anxiety attack or a depressive pitfall.
But most importantly, God saved both of us. God blessed me with a creature from heaven, a human being without a single evil bone in his body, a man who is caring and loving in so many ways that it will take the rest of my life to give it all back to him.
So yes, I write about Jordan a lot, but he is a gift from God.
And I'll never let him go.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
It's Christmas Eve Eve
Well folks, it's here. In a couple of short hours I will hit the sack, soon to awaken on Christmas Eve morning. For those who may not know (although I don't see how, I've been proclaiming this fact since before Thanksgiving) Christmas Eve is my most favorite day of the year. No, not Christmas day, but Christmas Eve. The wonderment and excitement the day holds has always been something I've loved from the time I was a toddler up to today. Call me weird, childish, or even a little obsessed, but come tomorrow morning this twenty-one year old will no longer be a young adult but a boisterous and anxious single digit aged child.
Growing up, I held such anticipation for Christmas Eve that the day before December 24th couldn't go unnoticed. Me and my younger brother proudly proclaimed December 23rd as Christmas Eve Eve. You read that correctly, the typo was purposely placed. The Eve before Christmas Eve. The night before Santa was to come. I don't know why, but even in the present I still refer to today as the creative title my little brother and I innocently conjured up. Nothing special ever happened on this day nor does it continue to. No traditional seance is delivered or sacrificial pigs are roasted (that's only on Thanksgiving). It just helps build up the anticipation (like we need more of it).
I guess the reason I love tomorrow so much is because it is filled with such memories and traditions. Every year is the same and, although I stated in my very first post that I hated routines, this particular habit is just fine with me. I remember as if it were yesterday: waiting my turn for the shower (we all claimed 30 minute blocks of time throughout the day, I preferred the 12:30-1 p.m. time frame), waiting patiently for the curlers to warm up so my mother could do my hair along with my other four sisters', getting dressed in my parents' closet, darning the dress I most likely pitched a fit about wearing causing my mom to grow a few premature gray hairs, arriving to mass one hour early to secure a few pews to accommodate our rather large family, singing carols throughout the church service to the best of my ability, anxiously waiting for church to be over so we could get to Grandma's, returning home for five minutes to load up the suburban with homemade macaroni and cheese and any other dishes my mother had prepared for our Christmas Eve meal with all 50+ family members (now 70+), and finally arriving at our destination, 3904 Milton street. Home to the proud owners of my grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. Rudolph V. Darilek. Upon arriving to the house, we help unload presents and food and enter into the boiling hot living room (my grandparents have this thing with the heater) where we enter into a fifteen minute hugging and kissing frenzy. After the presents are nestled under the tree (along with about 50 others), we grab a coke or sprite (beer for the adults) and talk until our ears fall off. The men gather in the den to watch the football game, the girls travel into the living room surrounding the one couch to talk about God knows what, and the aunts and my grandmother get busy in the kitchen to put the finishing touches on dinner. The dinner table is set for 30-40+ and stretches from one end of the house to the other, we eat in two shifts, buffet style, kids go first, and then the adults (who have their plates cleaned up for them by the young girls and served dessert). Soon the kitchen is clean and everyone crams together in the den, the football game now off and the youngest sitting indian style on the floor (last year was the first year I got a chair!).
The bible is read. Although dozens and dozens of gifts are resting neatly under the tree, we make sure to never forget the reason why we are all gathered together in one room. One person is always chosen to read the passage of the birth of Jesus and every year the power of the message always gets to me and I become overwhelmed...what a joyous occasion!
Then, its time to rip into the gifts. Everyone receives one gift from their godparent and one from Grandma and Grandpa, but don't be fooled, these gifts are special in their own way. No one expects anything flashy or expensive underneath the cedar tree (cut down specially by my grandfather from the bustering town of Moulton, TX). Last year one of my cousins received a roll of toilet paper and i got underwear detergent. There are many gag gifts, arousing much laughter, and to me that is one of the best parts about the evening. My family doesn't need material things to enjoy the holiday, all we need is each other and a sense of humor.
Eventually the night winds down, thank you's are given and family pictures taken. The car is reloaded and we begin the long drive home. In years past, this drive consisted of a short 4 blocks, now it entails 112 miles. None the matter, it's all the same to me. We arrive home late, my dad usually puts the pork loin in the oven to begin its roasting process, and everyone heads to bed...everyone except me. I could never sleep on Christmas Eve and age has brought on no change.
Reading over all this, I realize that none of this may seem very special to others, but to me its everything. I've always been a lover of life's simple pleasures and an evening filled with family and laughter is the best gift I could ever receive. Tomorrow will be no different from years past. I have no doubt that it will be enjoyed by all and I most certainly can't wait to see Jordan tomorrow evening for the first time since the 15th! It will be his first time staying over on Christmas Eve night and we plan to stay up late and watch Meet Me in St Louis (since I can never sleep anyway), my most favorite movie.
I hope everyone out there, friend and enemy, will have a blessed, safe, wonderful and Merry, Merry Christmas!
Til then,
Love and Joy come to you :)
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Ghost of Christmas Past
Since I am spending my 45 day break in Moulton and am just BURSTING with things to do, I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane to Christmases of years past. The picture above was taken in 1987, my first Christmas. To be honest, I look a little freaked out. I wonder who this man was anyway. (click on thumbnails for bigger view)
Christmas day 20 years ago:
There I am all the way in the back, obviously, the one closest to the fire. Rebecca looks a little upset, Chuck is a little ecstatic, and everyone else looks like they are just ready to eat! Also, that blanket sitting in front of the fire looks a little too close for comfort...even in the Fire Chiefs house!
15 years ago:
Here is Randy and I in 1993, smiling from our bedroom window I am guessing right after my mom had finished putting up the lights. I always loved they way we decorated our home. It was always the brightest on the street!
Christmas morning 1993! Those footie pajamas were awesome! I wonder what that string was hanging on the wall to the left of Scott, anyone know? Have a guess? Go figure, I had already dug into in my stocking and began chowing down on a snack. Had I even eaten breakfast yet? Probably not.
10 years ago:
At my grandparents' house Christmas Eve in 1998. We spend Christmas Eve here every year and it is my most favorite day of the year! I was in 5th grade at the time, and clearly no where near the fashion trends of the day....
I wish someone would have slapped me. They certainly should have. No matter, I can laugh at it now. Those dogs kept my feet warmer than any other pair of slippers I've ever owned. I miss them actually. This is when my fear of dogs subsided and my wish to have one as a pet grew. I am still waiting on that wish....
5 years ago:
Christmas dinner in 2003. You can't see me because I am the one taking the picture. This was about a year and four months after our world turned upside down, but we still look as happy as ever.
1 year ago:
This was at my wonderful older brother Chuck's fabulous Cheesy Christmas sweater party. It was a blast, and clearly none of us are photogenic.
Christmas morning. Love the fire! Jordan and I always argue over which is better, real fires or propane induced fires. Just like I will never have a fake tree, I will never have a "fake" fire. Sorry babe.
This was taken during the best Christmas gift I've ever gotten!
I lOVE CHRISTMAS. Childhood Christmases were filled with magic and wonder and to this day that same feeling still creeps its way into my heart. There is nothing I love more than spending quality time with the family I love so much! I can't wait for this year!
Merry Christmas :)
Friday, December 12, 2008
My little stress relievers
The beginning of this week was not so good. I had all of my finals on Monday and Wednesday, and I was stressed...I mean, STRESSED. You see, when situations such as these arise, my body does not handle them very well. My face breaks out, my muscles cramp, my back forms about a dozen knots, and my stomach goes into cahoots. Top all of that off with no sleep and anxiety and you had me, a complete frantic, shaky, mess. I had to do really well on my tests on Wednesday to secure decent grades for the Semester for my Western Civilization 101 and English 231 courses (two classes that are usually my strong points...not in this case), so I began studying a week in advance for the exams, and the day before I went 16 hours straight of non-stop cramming(that's from 10:30 a.m. to 2:30 a.m.). By the time I decided to give up and head home and NOT sleep in the library, since I had been debating on that all day, my head was screaming in pain and I was shaking. The previous week and a half had drained so much mental energy out of me and I was nervous as hell. As I laid my head down to sleep and said my usual prayers, I asked the Lord to give me strength to just get through the next morning. I didn't care if the tests were hard. I felt I had done everything I could do, but I had no strength. I needed the courage and will to fight through my exams. Plus, I just wanted to know everything was going to be OK.
Well, I got maybe about two and a half hours of sleep. My mind would not stop racing. So at 5:30 a.m. I decided trying to fall back to sleep was pointless and decided to crawl out of bed and start some reviewing for my first exam, which was to be at 8 a.m.. It had been raining/sleeting all night so upon arising out of bed I noticed that the rain/ice was no longer hitting my window. I opened up the blinds to take a look and this is what I found:
I was taken back. I know my life isn't hard, and everyone suffers from stress every now and then, but there was something about this snowfall that touched my heart. I had prayed a couple of hours before for the strength and determination to get through my exams...here was my source. I know it may sound cheesy or even a little ridiculous, but I feel that deep down, my mother and God were listening to me and sent me something so simple (well, this is TEXAS, so maybe 3 inches of snow wasn't so easy) and beautiful to calm my fears. It worked. The snow melted away all of my worries and anxiety, and as I stood out there in my sweatshirt and blue jeans in 28 degree weather watching the snow fall...I knew everything was going to be alright.
I enjoyed my long walk to the Zachry building across campus that morning.
It was beautiful! More snow fell later that day to completely blanket the college station area. My guess is it was around 2-4in. A friend of mine sent me a picture message later that night of a 5 foot snowman they built in their front yard! For us Texans, that is most definitely a once in a lifetime achievement!
My tests went OK. Once I finished it felt as if a ten pound weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could FINALLY do as I pleased. I ran some errands, did some Christmas shopping, and fell asleep on the couch for a good 25 minutes. It was awesome! To top it off, I got to drive home to Moulton to this:
Jordan's female black lab had puppies Monday morning, and they are SO CUTE. I didn't grow up with a pet, most certainly never a dog. So all of this is new to me and this is the first time I've ever gotten to see a real puppy in person (I swear my childhood was still awesome though, no permanent damage done). These little guys put the cherry on top. I held one in my hand and it squealed for a bit, then fell asleep in my lap.
If this doesn't melt your heart...then I don't know what will.
I love that I don't need anything fancy or flashy to make me happy. All I needed was a little winter weather and puppy love to remind me how lucky I am to have the life I live. I thank God for the little stress relievers he sent me this week and I pray that he continues to help out other families during this holiday season who aren't as fortunate as I am. Lord knows their stress is a little more complex than mine was, and if anyone needs a little stress reliever, it is them.
Til then,
Merry Christmas
Well, I got maybe about two and a half hours of sleep. My mind would not stop racing. So at 5:30 a.m. I decided trying to fall back to sleep was pointless and decided to crawl out of bed and start some reviewing for my first exam, which was to be at 8 a.m.. It had been raining/sleeting all night so upon arising out of bed I noticed that the rain/ice was no longer hitting my window. I opened up the blinds to take a look and this is what I found:
I was taken back. I know my life isn't hard, and everyone suffers from stress every now and then, but there was something about this snowfall that touched my heart. I had prayed a couple of hours before for the strength and determination to get through my exams...here was my source. I know it may sound cheesy or even a little ridiculous, but I feel that deep down, my mother and God were listening to me and sent me something so simple (well, this is TEXAS, so maybe 3 inches of snow wasn't so easy) and beautiful to calm my fears. It worked. The snow melted away all of my worries and anxiety, and as I stood out there in my sweatshirt and blue jeans in 28 degree weather watching the snow fall...I knew everything was going to be alright.
I enjoyed my long walk to the Zachry building across campus that morning.
It was beautiful! More snow fell later that day to completely blanket the college station area. My guess is it was around 2-4in. A friend of mine sent me a picture message later that night of a 5 foot snowman they built in their front yard! For us Texans, that is most definitely a once in a lifetime achievement!
My tests went OK. Once I finished it felt as if a ten pound weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could FINALLY do as I pleased. I ran some errands, did some Christmas shopping, and fell asleep on the couch for a good 25 minutes. It was awesome! To top it off, I got to drive home to Moulton to this:
Jordan's female black lab had puppies Monday morning, and they are SO CUTE. I didn't grow up with a pet, most certainly never a dog. So all of this is new to me and this is the first time I've ever gotten to see a real puppy in person (I swear my childhood was still awesome though, no permanent damage done). These little guys put the cherry on top. I held one in my hand and it squealed for a bit, then fell asleep in my lap.
If this doesn't melt your heart...then I don't know what will.
I love that I don't need anything fancy or flashy to make me happy. All I needed was a little winter weather and puppy love to remind me how lucky I am to have the life I live. I thank God for the little stress relievers he sent me this week and I pray that he continues to help out other families during this holiday season who aren't as fortunate as I am. Lord knows their stress is a little more complex than mine was, and if anyone needs a little stress reliever, it is them.
Til then,
Merry Christmas
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The World doesn't want me to study
It's so true! It seems as if every time I get an ounce of desire to hit the books something comes up to relinquish any motivation I tirelessly worked so hard to gain.
For instance: sports.
I know, some of you may be thinking..."but, you're a girl, how do you like sports? Isn't that a pretty male thing to do?". My only answer to that is...you don't know me at all. I LOVE sports, and it appears as though this year it has been taken to a new level. I followed college football more closely this year than I have in years past. Now I am beginning to regret it. Because I have devoted an insurmountable time of my Saturdays to ESPN's College Gameday, ABC, and Kyle Field, the championship games taking place as I write out this (very procrastinator) blog post carry major significance. BUT I HAVE TO STUDY. I've locked myself away in a secluded room for the past 3 days straight and have only accomplished one-third of what I need to before Monday and Wednesday. The t.v. is once again calling my name and every now and then I get the "what's watching the game for 20 minutes going to hurt?" feeling. However, I know myself better than I want to believe. I know that if I turn on the tube and begin to watch football I'll get sucked in and go from studying at a good, reasonable pace to "wait...don't I have a final on Monday I should have been studying for for the past 8 hours?".
Another thing that doesn't help was the Fightin' Texas Aggie Basketball game last night that I attended (and was SO glad I did). It was one of the most exciting, loud, and awesome games I have attended at this splendid University. The Aggies were losing by at least 9-8 points the WHOLE game, even sinking into a deficit of 15 points from time to time. Nevertheless, everyone knows Aggies never give up, and the boys basketball team proved that. The intensity of the second half was one I had never experienced before, and when Nathan Walkup hit the three pointer to put our team ahead by 1 with only 17 seconds left...my feet couldn't find the floor. The final buzzer sounded and Reed Arena went crazy. Granted, we had been going crazy for the past 12 minutes but this time we took our excitement out onto the floor and celebrated with the team.
Now, I can't get this game (and excitement I still feel about it) out of my head. It makes me want to watch another finger bitting, thrilling sports match up, and what venue offers that any better than conference championships?
The world doesn't want me to study, but I guess I am going to anyway, and I promise to try as hard as I can to keep away from the television. I can't promise that when 7 p.m. rolls around I'll still be locked in my room (cause, really, who can take 9 straight hours of studying anyway?), but for now I'll keep to my Music of the Americas and Geology notes because I have not one but TWO finals on Monday, and then two MORE on Wednesday.
Wish me luck....Wait...is that Guitar Hero I hear playing in the next room over?.....
Shirley :)
For instance: sports.
I know, some of you may be thinking..."but, you're a girl, how do you like sports? Isn't that a pretty male thing to do?". My only answer to that is...you don't know me at all. I LOVE sports, and it appears as though this year it has been taken to a new level. I followed college football more closely this year than I have in years past. Now I am beginning to regret it. Because I have devoted an insurmountable time of my Saturdays to ESPN's College Gameday, ABC, and Kyle Field, the championship games taking place as I write out this (very procrastinator) blog post carry major significance. BUT I HAVE TO STUDY. I've locked myself away in a secluded room for the past 3 days straight and have only accomplished one-third of what I need to before Monday and Wednesday. The t.v. is once again calling my name and every now and then I get the "what's watching the game for 20 minutes going to hurt?" feeling. However, I know myself better than I want to believe. I know that if I turn on the tube and begin to watch football I'll get sucked in and go from studying at a good, reasonable pace to "wait...don't I have a final on Monday I should have been studying for for the past 8 hours?".
Another thing that doesn't help was the Fightin' Texas Aggie Basketball game last night that I attended (and was SO glad I did). It was one of the most exciting, loud, and awesome games I have attended at this splendid University. The Aggies were losing by at least 9-8 points the WHOLE game, even sinking into a deficit of 15 points from time to time. Nevertheless, everyone knows Aggies never give up, and the boys basketball team proved that. The intensity of the second half was one I had never experienced before, and when Nathan Walkup hit the three pointer to put our team ahead by 1 with only 17 seconds left...my feet couldn't find the floor. The final buzzer sounded and Reed Arena went crazy. Granted, we had been going crazy for the past 12 minutes but this time we took our excitement out onto the floor and celebrated with the team.
Now, I can't get this game (and excitement I still feel about it) out of my head. It makes me want to watch another finger bitting, thrilling sports match up, and what venue offers that any better than conference championships?
The world doesn't want me to study, but I guess I am going to anyway, and I promise to try as hard as I can to keep away from the television. I can't promise that when 7 p.m. rolls around I'll still be locked in my room (cause, really, who can take 9 straight hours of studying anyway?), but for now I'll keep to my Music of the Americas and Geology notes because I have not one but TWO finals on Monday, and then two MORE on Wednesday.
Wish me luck....Wait...is that Guitar Hero I hear playing in the next room over?.....
Shirley :)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Christmas Time is Here
I wrote this I believe either two years ago or just last winter, but I think it sums up pretty well how I feel about the Christmas season in as little words as possible. I wanted to wait and post this on Christmas Eve, but I have no patience. I'll think of something else special to post on that wonderful day (if I am able to get to a computer). Season's Greetings :)
Christmas Time is Here
Christmas time is here,
‘Tis the same thing every year.
Holiday music and decorations galore,
Shoppers looking for sales and more and more.
Trees go up darned with lights,
Houses shimmer throughout the nights.
Cold winter air nips your nose,
Kids wishing and hoping it snows.
Fires crackle, chestnuts roast,
We cuddle next to ones we love most.
Christmas eve I can only say,
Throughout the year tis my favorite day.
Excitement and cheer fill the house,
As I curl my hair and darn my Christmas blouse.
Crowded together, to mass we go,
Filling up the pews, row by row.
Shoulder to shoulder we all sit,
Crammed, it’s a wonder we all can fit.
We pay our tributes to the reason,
The man who was birthed, to celebrate the season.
But oh the best part is yet to come,
It’s time for Grandma’s, food, and fun.
The family gathers, the house fills up,
Everyone cheery, and all dressed up.
Dozens of gifts nestled under the tree,
Wondering only what to expect from Aunt Margie.
The table is set, a mile long,
And the old radio plays a simple Christmas song.
Dinner is ready, we eat in 2 shifts,
Kids go first, eager to open their gifts.
Turkey and dressing, pass the rolls please,
And my oh so favorite homemade macaroni and cheese.
Adults go next as the girls clear the plates,
Dessert to finish, kolaches and beautifully iced cakes.
When all is fed and the dishes are clean,
We gather in one room to read of a nativity scene.
Presents are opened thereafter,
Quickly filling the room with much much laughter.
Coconuts, goats, aggie clocks, and dvds,
Who knew so much love could be under one Christmas tree.
Some gifts are funny, some may fall apart,
And then some are special, which we hold close to our heart.
We share dozens of laughs and tell numerous stories,
All creating some of my most favorite memories.
I look forward to this day once the holidays hit,
And it doesn’t even really matter what presents I get.
I love this family and the things we can share,
Even if that means handing out boxers with the heads of reindeer.
We remember our loved ones, sisters, and bretheren,
Who get to spend Christmas with Jesus, watching us from heaven.
This night means a lot to me and I know it does you,
It’s one of the last things in life that we know to be true.
I wish one thing, to take with you, a must,
To have a wonderful and beautiful Christmas.
Shirley Stevenson
Christmas Time is Here
Christmas time is here,
‘Tis the same thing every year.
Holiday music and decorations galore,
Shoppers looking for sales and more and more.
Trees go up darned with lights,
Houses shimmer throughout the nights.
Cold winter air nips your nose,
Kids wishing and hoping it snows.
Fires crackle, chestnuts roast,
We cuddle next to ones we love most.
Christmas eve I can only say,
Throughout the year tis my favorite day.
Excitement and cheer fill the house,
As I curl my hair and darn my Christmas blouse.
Crowded together, to mass we go,
Filling up the pews, row by row.
Shoulder to shoulder we all sit,
Crammed, it’s a wonder we all can fit.
We pay our tributes to the reason,
The man who was birthed, to celebrate the season.
But oh the best part is yet to come,
It’s time for Grandma’s, food, and fun.
The family gathers, the house fills up,
Everyone cheery, and all dressed up.
Dozens of gifts nestled under the tree,
Wondering only what to expect from Aunt Margie.
The table is set, a mile long,
And the old radio plays a simple Christmas song.
Dinner is ready, we eat in 2 shifts,
Kids go first, eager to open their gifts.
Turkey and dressing, pass the rolls please,
And my oh so favorite homemade macaroni and cheese.
Adults go next as the girls clear the plates,
Dessert to finish, kolaches and beautifully iced cakes.
When all is fed and the dishes are clean,
We gather in one room to read of a nativity scene.
Presents are opened thereafter,
Quickly filling the room with much much laughter.
Coconuts, goats, aggie clocks, and dvds,
Who knew so much love could be under one Christmas tree.
Some gifts are funny, some may fall apart,
And then some are special, which we hold close to our heart.
We share dozens of laughs and tell numerous stories,
All creating some of my most favorite memories.
I look forward to this day once the holidays hit,
And it doesn’t even really matter what presents I get.
I love this family and the things we can share,
Even if that means handing out boxers with the heads of reindeer.
We remember our loved ones, sisters, and bretheren,
Who get to spend Christmas with Jesus, watching us from heaven.
This night means a lot to me and I know it does you,
It’s one of the last things in life that we know to be true.
I wish one thing, to take with you, a must,
To have a wonderful and beautiful Christmas.
Shirley Stevenson
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Thanksgiving was awesome.
We had quite the feast.
There was plenty of laughter and memories made and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute. The only thing I didn't enjoy too much was A&M's loss to Texas, but that's okay. We beat them the last two year's in a row and they are pretty good this year. We were lucky to have scored a touchdown on them. After the first few quarters of the game (when we realized it was pretty much over), we ordered some beers and began to drown away our feelings of the game. After roasting a pig all day (and kicking Charlie's butt in washers AND koknockers) it didn't take very long. In fact, we were in such high spirits when we returned home from the bar that someone decided to play a nice trick on me. If you recall, I am DEATHLY afraid of roaches. One of my older sisters had neatly placed a fake one on the kitchen floor right next to my foot (and after drinking a few Shiner Blonde's this was an easy task to get away with) and turned my attention towards it. I did a little shuffling of my feet in a minor freak out manner, then proceeded to run out of the room begging for someone to "kill it!". On my way out the door to safety I heard the living room fill with laughs, it was then I knew the roach was fake. I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I laughed so hard I cried.
Another great thing about the break, other than being with family, was that I got to spend some time with my nephews. Those three boys are wonderful and are so because of their parents. I hope they know how lucky they are to have the mommy and daddy that they do!
However, now that Thanksgiving is over and December is upon us, it is officially the Christmas season! I have already made two batches of Peanut Butter Squares (it wasn't supposed to be two until I accidentally dumped WAY too much brown sugar in the mix and was forced to double the recipe) and added 99.1 and 107.3 to the presets on my ihome and Randy's car radio. I LOVE Christmas! To quote from a previous post, I have a slight obsession with it. Me and Jordan went grocery shopping the other day and outside of the Kroger's they were setting up their Christmas tree display. Jordan let me walk through the trees so I could get a good whiff of the piny scent. I wanted one, but decided that buying a $30 tree for only a week just for the smell wasn't such a good idea. Someone should make a Christmas tree candle, I would buy so many of those and burn them year round!
Now, I must be patient. The advent season has begun. I have started to pray my advent Novena at night in preparation for the birth of our Lord. For the next week I will be waist deep in a sea of books and deprived of sleep. Come December 10th, I will officially be a Junior in college (since I am a semester behind) and ready to spend my 40 day (yes, that's right, 40 DAYS!) holiday break doing absolutely nothing! Until then I'll be listening to my Holiday music, including this one, which is my all time favorite and makes me cry EVERY time I watch this movie.
Happy...oh screw it...MERRY Christmas!
We had quite the feast.
There was plenty of laughter and memories made and I thoroughly enjoyed every minute. The only thing I didn't enjoy too much was A&M's loss to Texas, but that's okay. We beat them the last two year's in a row and they are pretty good this year. We were lucky to have scored a touchdown on them. After the first few quarters of the game (when we realized it was pretty much over), we ordered some beers and began to drown away our feelings of the game. After roasting a pig all day (and kicking Charlie's butt in washers AND koknockers) it didn't take very long. In fact, we were in such high spirits when we returned home from the bar that someone decided to play a nice trick on me. If you recall, I am DEATHLY afraid of roaches. One of my older sisters had neatly placed a fake one on the kitchen floor right next to my foot (and after drinking a few Shiner Blonde's this was an easy task to get away with) and turned my attention towards it. I did a little shuffling of my feet in a minor freak out manner, then proceeded to run out of the room begging for someone to "kill it!". On my way out the door to safety I heard the living room fill with laughs, it was then I knew the roach was fake. I couldn't help but laugh at myself. I laughed so hard I cried.
Another great thing about the break, other than being with family, was that I got to spend some time with my nephews. Those three boys are wonderful and are so because of their parents. I hope they know how lucky they are to have the mommy and daddy that they do!
However, now that Thanksgiving is over and December is upon us, it is officially the Christmas season! I have already made two batches of Peanut Butter Squares (it wasn't supposed to be two until I accidentally dumped WAY too much brown sugar in the mix and was forced to double the recipe) and added 99.1 and 107.3 to the presets on my ihome and Randy's car radio. I LOVE Christmas! To quote from a previous post, I have a slight obsession with it. Me and Jordan went grocery shopping the other day and outside of the Kroger's they were setting up their Christmas tree display. Jordan let me walk through the trees so I could get a good whiff of the piny scent. I wanted one, but decided that buying a $30 tree for only a week just for the smell wasn't such a good idea. Someone should make a Christmas tree candle, I would buy so many of those and burn them year round!
Now, I must be patient. The advent season has begun. I have started to pray my advent Novena at night in preparation for the birth of our Lord. For the next week I will be waist deep in a sea of books and deprived of sleep. Come December 10th, I will officially be a Junior in college (since I am a semester behind) and ready to spend my 40 day (yes, that's right, 40 DAYS!) holiday break doing absolutely nothing! Until then I'll be listening to my Holiday music, including this one, which is my all time favorite and makes me cry EVERY time I watch this movie.
Happy...oh screw it...MERRY Christmas!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Forever and Always
So tonight Jordan is studying for a test and since he insists on locking himself up in his room, I decided to steal his computer and take a look at some of the images he has stored on his drive.
This is what I found:
My boyfriend is unique, but I love him for it.
He also has moments like these:
and these moments I cherish.
Jordan does a lot for me, so much that it will take more than the rest of my life to repay him. I don't deserve his love, but I thank God every day for it. I thank the Lord every day for people like him and I am pretty sure that if the world had more Jordan's in it, it wouldn't be such a bad place to live after all.
Forever and always :)
This is what I found:
My boyfriend is unique, but I love him for it.
He also has moments like these:
and these moments I cherish.
Jordan does a lot for me, so much that it will take more than the rest of my life to repay him. I don't deserve his love, but I thank God every day for it. I thank the Lord every day for people like him and I am pretty sure that if the world had more Jordan's in it, it wouldn't be such a bad place to live after all.
Forever and always :)
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Don't forget about Thanksgiving
The holiday season is approaching! Everywhere you go decorations are beginning to don the outside of business buildings and homes and 107.3 is already playing Christmas music 24 hours a day. Nonetheless, besides the recent flourish of holiday cheer, I haven't forgotten about Thanksgiving. In the past, I waited patiently for the November festivities to come to an end before I turned on my never ending Christmas CD's and hung shiny lights sparkling colors of red and green. But, the older I get the harder this becomes. I'll admit defeat. Yesterday, I turned on holiday music for the first time this year (and I MIGHT be listening to it now as we speak) and you guys, the excitement just built up inside. After spending about an hour listening to Frosty the Snowman and Silver Bells, my little brother/roommate decided it was "time to go out and buy Christmas decorations and put lights in the house, and maybe buy a fake tree, and decorate the house that day so that when we came home from Thanksgiving it would already be done and we could maybe make some peanut butter squares while we're at it and...."
OK, that was enough.
I realized then that maybe we were jumping the gun a little bit. I turned off the music and refused to go out and buy plastic candy canes for the yard. Just a couple more days and we could do all that, but for now...let's concentrate on Thanksgiving (but a little music won't hurt, will it?).
Last year, my Dad's side of the family came down to good ole' Moulton, TX to celebrate the annual November holiday. It didn't take long after they arrived for events such as these to occur:
Oh ya, they made shots and passed them around for quite a while.
Welcome to a Stevenson Thanksgiving.
Now, in all honesty, this doesn't happen every year. My Dad and his siblings went to Mexico the previous summer to celebrate the oldest brother's and his wife's birthdays and apparently they were reminiscing on some shots they had tried while away on vacation. Nevertheless, it was quite funny to watch Aunt Toni choke down a "snake bite". There is one aspect of a Stevenson get together that never fails to make an appearance, the Uncle Gary Bloody Mary. So I am sure, come Thanksgiving morning next Thursday, the meal won't be the only thing getting prepared.
Another thing about our family holiday traditions is that we don't usually have the traditional meal. We don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving or Christmas, we eat pork, and this year we're bringing in a whole hog and roasting him on a pit in the back yard (or field in our case since it's in the country). My dad said he's putting an apple in its mouth just for Barbara, I'm sure she'll love it, haha.
Last year's Thanksgiving was a whole lot of fun. In fact, I found out I got into Texas A&M on thanksgiving day! It was an awesome feeling. So we went and did a little of this later that night:
We celebrated with a little bit of dancing!
So, the holiday season is fastly approaching, but there are still 5 more days until Thanksgiving, and to be honest, I am a little bit excited about it. I can't wait until I get to eat all that wonderful food, spend time with the side of the family whom I don't see too often, and maybe (hopefully) watch the Fightin' Texas Aggies BTHO t.u.!
A-A-A WHOOP!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
OK, that was enough.
I realized then that maybe we were jumping the gun a little bit. I turned off the music and refused to go out and buy plastic candy canes for the yard. Just a couple more days and we could do all that, but for now...let's concentrate on Thanksgiving (but a little music won't hurt, will it?).
Last year, my Dad's side of the family came down to good ole' Moulton, TX to celebrate the annual November holiday. It didn't take long after they arrived for events such as these to occur:
Oh ya, they made shots and passed them around for quite a while.
Welcome to a Stevenson Thanksgiving.
Now, in all honesty, this doesn't happen every year. My Dad and his siblings went to Mexico the previous summer to celebrate the oldest brother's and his wife's birthdays and apparently they were reminiscing on some shots they had tried while away on vacation. Nevertheless, it was quite funny to watch Aunt Toni choke down a "snake bite". There is one aspect of a Stevenson get together that never fails to make an appearance, the Uncle Gary Bloody Mary. So I am sure, come Thanksgiving morning next Thursday, the meal won't be the only thing getting prepared.
Another thing about our family holiday traditions is that we don't usually have the traditional meal. We don't eat turkey on Thanksgiving or Christmas, we eat pork, and this year we're bringing in a whole hog and roasting him on a pit in the back yard (or field in our case since it's in the country). My dad said he's putting an apple in its mouth just for Barbara, I'm sure she'll love it, haha.
Last year's Thanksgiving was a whole lot of fun. In fact, I found out I got into Texas A&M on thanksgiving day! It was an awesome feeling. So we went and did a little of this later that night:
We celebrated with a little bit of dancing!
So, the holiday season is fastly approaching, but there are still 5 more days until Thanksgiving, and to be honest, I am a little bit excited about it. I can't wait until I get to eat all that wonderful food, spend time with the side of the family whom I don't see too often, and maybe (hopefully) watch the Fightin' Texas Aggies BTHO t.u.!
A-A-A WHOOP!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Mid Week Updates
Jordan arrived back from Illinois late last night around 11:30. I thank the Lord for returning him home safe and in one piece. He had quite the experience interviewing for a summer internship with John Deere and so many stories! I hope everything he has worked so hard for since he was eight years old becomes a reality, but time will only tell! You have all of my support, Jordan :).
I raced over to A-1 Wrecking company this morning to remove my car from their tow yard, now I am $118.30 cheaper (note to self: don't park in the University Square parking lot unless going to Schlostky's or IHOP). Now, I am home, finished with class for the day, and waiting for Jordan to arouse from his nap (so he can tell me more about his trip!). Since I don't really have anything to write about, I thought I'd be a little self centered today and give away some random facts about myself that only close family members are aware of (maybe).
1. No matter the ice cream flavor, I've gotta have chocolate syrup on it. Even if it's triple chocolate, I prefer quadruple.
2. I have recently discovered (in January of this year to be exact) that I am not a fan of flying. It's not the height, the dangers of crashing, or anything of that matter but the fact that I can't stand the feeling of being 40,000 feet in the air and bouncing around wind waves and such. The G-forces of take off and etc. kill my head.
3. I don't drink liquor, can't stand the stuff. I also don't really enjoy becoming intoxicated and don't drink just to reach that state. I drink beer because I like the taste (call me weird), not because I like the effects.
4. I am a huge fan of flip flops and enter into a state of mild depression when the winter months roll around.
5. I am ALWAYS cold. No kidding. It can be 90+ degrees outside but if the air conditioner is on in the house, I need a blanket. I am very rarely hot.
6. I don't talk a lot. Not because I don't like people, but just because that's the way I am. I don't really have a good reason why. I have always been more of a writer.
7. I hate saying goodbye and goodnight. I say it to the people I love (Jordan, of course, has to hear me say it every night) but I usually won't say it to acquaintances. I don't mean to be rude, but there's a bad experience I have with those words and I am sure there is some psychologist out there that is willing to explain why. I am not.
8. I hate dirty bathrooms but am, at some times, too lazy to clean mine. I don't let it get too out of control though.
9. Faith is a very personal thing to me. I have my faith in God and our Lord but don't always feel the need to express it to the world.
10. My ears are not pierced. Don't really know why they still aren't. It's not cause I don't want to...I do, I just...I don't know.
11. Christmas is the BEST time of year. I have a slight obsession with it.
12. I am not into the whole pretty-boy look for a guy (just look at my boyfriend and that is obvious) nor am I into the emo, goth, etc. look. Jordan is perfect :).
13. I want to write and play music for people, but I never want to be famous.
14. I have to sleep on the right side of the bed (when laying in the bed) otherwise everything is off.
15. I love my nephews a lot and wish I could see them more. One day, when my life isn't consumed with projects and tests, I will.
16. I LOVE Texas, but am kind of looking forward to living in another state once I finish school.
17. I hate going to the Doctor and into hospitals. I hate the feeling I get when I am in those places. Sort of an anxiety for me.
18. I drive with my arm out of the window (when they are down) and Jordan HATES IT! But it's relaxing for me. So muah-ah-ahhh I am going to keep doing it.
19. I HATE Seafood.
20. But I will eat trout sparingly and that's it.
21. I get carsick when in the backseat of a small car or when I am reading. Blah.
22. If someone is sick I avoid them at all costs. NO lie.
23. Roaches scare the living poop out of me. I will cry if one crawls on my leg.
24. I used to be deathly afraid of dogs but now want to own one sooooo bad!
25. I was the first birth my mother had an epidural. That's right, she had 5 before me Au natural. I guess I was a little difficult.
26. I don't really like talking on the phone. In person is WAY better (cause remember, I am awkward).
27. I never wear makeup. Only a small bit (and by small I mean only mascara and eyeliner) for when I go to special formal occasions, like weddings and such. It makes me feel fake.
28. I hate fake people. Everyone should embrace who they are and be real, ALL THE TIME.
29. I believe homemade macaroni and cheese is the bomb.com (tribute to Katie P.)
30. My mom is a HUGE part of my life even though she is with our Lord. I seek to be the person she was (and that's a very hard thing to do).
31. My toenails and fingernails are never painted. Weird, I know.
32. I don't like it when people play with or touch my hair. Can't stand it actually.
33. I can't sit at home all week. I've got to get out and do stuff.
34. I love running simple errands with Jordan. We don't have to be doing anything special, just being with each other is enjoyable enough.
35. Sometimes, I like to have crappy things. Life is more enjoyable when you don't have to worry about material things and it's fun to laugh at.
36. I don't watch t.v. series. I like to watch shows every now and then but have never been a follower of programs today. Can't really say that was true in the past (American Dreams, duh), but I guess I don't have time too anymore.
37. I have recently discovered that I love to cook.
38. I like to stay up late and sleep in. Anything before 9 a.m. is too early (typical college student right?).
39. I like to talk about intelligent things.
40. I'd rather go to school than work any day. I wish I could get paid for attending class.
41. I secretly want to go on the View and give my two cents.
42. I love college football and basketball!
43. I am VERY modest, more than you probably think (and I am writing about myself...sort of ironic).
44. Most people, when they first meet me, think I am a...um..."female dog". I have no idea why, I guess it's a vibe I give off, but I promise, I am the farthest thing from a cruel, evil person. It's sooo hard for me to rude. It's not in my nature.
45. I am pretty sure Jordan is the one. I am still a little young and can't tell the future, but I do hope (and pray) that things continue the way they are. He is EVERYTHING to me.
46. Me and Jordan have actually seen our share of struggles and our relationship has been tested in more ways than some others may believe or experience at our age. Granted, we still have so much more maturing and learning to do, but I believe if we can get through what we have in the past, then we can get through a lot in our future.
47. Contrary to my older sister's belief, I can keep secrets and have lots of them ;)
48. I am terrible at math. Please don't ever ask me to add something in my head, I will have to use my fingers.
49. I hate running, smoking, people who cough 100,000 times during class, smack their food when they chew, and don't clean their dishes.
50. I love my family. Everyone! I am talking about my siblings, their wives (well, wife) and children, significant others, friends, Jordan's family (all of them too), and will forever and ever.
So there, 50 tid bits about me. Some may have been known, others maybe not so much. But now, to get the topic off of me...
Happy Birthday Ms. Dees! I know you don't like Birthdays but I think it's a great day to appreciate the life God has blessed you with. It's a beautiful day out, hope you enjoyed it! Eat some cake!
I raced over to A-1 Wrecking company this morning to remove my car from their tow yard, now I am $118.30 cheaper (note to self: don't park in the University Square parking lot unless going to Schlostky's or IHOP). Now, I am home, finished with class for the day, and waiting for Jordan to arouse from his nap (so he can tell me more about his trip!). Since I don't really have anything to write about, I thought I'd be a little self centered today and give away some random facts about myself that only close family members are aware of (maybe).
1. No matter the ice cream flavor, I've gotta have chocolate syrup on it. Even if it's triple chocolate, I prefer quadruple.
2. I have recently discovered (in January of this year to be exact) that I am not a fan of flying. It's not the height, the dangers of crashing, or anything of that matter but the fact that I can't stand the feeling of being 40,000 feet in the air and bouncing around wind waves and such. The G-forces of take off and etc. kill my head.
3. I don't drink liquor, can't stand the stuff. I also don't really enjoy becoming intoxicated and don't drink just to reach that state. I drink beer because I like the taste (call me weird), not because I like the effects.
4. I am a huge fan of flip flops and enter into a state of mild depression when the winter months roll around.
5. I am ALWAYS cold. No kidding. It can be 90+ degrees outside but if the air conditioner is on in the house, I need a blanket. I am very rarely hot.
6. I don't talk a lot. Not because I don't like people, but just because that's the way I am. I don't really have a good reason why. I have always been more of a writer.
7. I hate saying goodbye and goodnight. I say it to the people I love (Jordan, of course, has to hear me say it every night) but I usually won't say it to acquaintances. I don't mean to be rude, but there's a bad experience I have with those words and I am sure there is some psychologist out there that is willing to explain why. I am not.
8. I hate dirty bathrooms but am, at some times, too lazy to clean mine. I don't let it get too out of control though.
9. Faith is a very personal thing to me. I have my faith in God and our Lord but don't always feel the need to express it to the world.
10. My ears are not pierced. Don't really know why they still aren't. It's not cause I don't want to...I do, I just...I don't know.
11. Christmas is the BEST time of year. I have a slight obsession with it.
12. I am not into the whole pretty-boy look for a guy (just look at my boyfriend and that is obvious) nor am I into the emo, goth, etc. look. Jordan is perfect :).
13. I want to write and play music for people, but I never want to be famous.
14. I have to sleep on the right side of the bed (when laying in the bed) otherwise everything is off.
15. I love my nephews a lot and wish I could see them more. One day, when my life isn't consumed with projects and tests, I will.
16. I LOVE Texas, but am kind of looking forward to living in another state once I finish school.
17. I hate going to the Doctor and into hospitals. I hate the feeling I get when I am in those places. Sort of an anxiety for me.
18. I drive with my arm out of the window (when they are down) and Jordan HATES IT! But it's relaxing for me. So muah-ah-ahhh I am going to keep doing it.
19. I HATE Seafood.
20. But I will eat trout sparingly and that's it.
21. I get carsick when in the backseat of a small car or when I am reading. Blah.
22. If someone is sick I avoid them at all costs. NO lie.
23. Roaches scare the living poop out of me. I will cry if one crawls on my leg.
24. I used to be deathly afraid of dogs but now want to own one sooooo bad!
25. I was the first birth my mother had an epidural. That's right, she had 5 before me Au natural. I guess I was a little difficult.
26. I don't really like talking on the phone. In person is WAY better (cause remember, I am awkward).
27. I never wear makeup. Only a small bit (and by small I mean only mascara and eyeliner) for when I go to special formal occasions, like weddings and such. It makes me feel fake.
28. I hate fake people. Everyone should embrace who they are and be real, ALL THE TIME.
29. I believe homemade macaroni and cheese is the bomb.com (tribute to Katie P.)
30. My mom is a HUGE part of my life even though she is with our Lord. I seek to be the person she was (and that's a very hard thing to do).
31. My toenails and fingernails are never painted. Weird, I know.
32. I don't like it when people play with or touch my hair. Can't stand it actually.
33. I can't sit at home all week. I've got to get out and do stuff.
34. I love running simple errands with Jordan. We don't have to be doing anything special, just being with each other is enjoyable enough.
35. Sometimes, I like to have crappy things. Life is more enjoyable when you don't have to worry about material things and it's fun to laugh at.
36. I don't watch t.v. series. I like to watch shows every now and then but have never been a follower of programs today. Can't really say that was true in the past (American Dreams, duh), but I guess I don't have time too anymore.
37. I have recently discovered that I love to cook.
38. I like to stay up late and sleep in. Anything before 9 a.m. is too early (typical college student right?).
39. I like to talk about intelligent things.
40. I'd rather go to school than work any day. I wish I could get paid for attending class.
41. I secretly want to go on the View and give my two cents.
42. I love college football and basketball!
43. I am VERY modest, more than you probably think (and I am writing about myself...sort of ironic).
44. Most people, when they first meet me, think I am a...um..."female dog". I have no idea why, I guess it's a vibe I give off, but I promise, I am the farthest thing from a cruel, evil person. It's sooo hard for me to rude. It's not in my nature.
45. I am pretty sure Jordan is the one. I am still a little young and can't tell the future, but I do hope (and pray) that things continue the way they are. He is EVERYTHING to me.
46. Me and Jordan have actually seen our share of struggles and our relationship has been tested in more ways than some others may believe or experience at our age. Granted, we still have so much more maturing and learning to do, but I believe if we can get through what we have in the past, then we can get through a lot in our future.
47. Contrary to my older sister's belief, I can keep secrets and have lots of them ;)
48. I am terrible at math. Please don't ever ask me to add something in my head, I will have to use my fingers.
49. I hate running, smoking, people who cough 100,000 times during class, smack their food when they chew, and don't clean their dishes.
50. I love my family. Everyone! I am talking about my siblings, their wives (well, wife) and children, significant others, friends, Jordan's family (all of them too), and will forever and ever.
So there, 50 tid bits about me. Some may have been known, others maybe not so much. But now, to get the topic off of me...
Happy Birthday Ms. Dees! I know you don't like Birthdays but I think it's a great day to appreciate the life God has blessed you with. It's a beautiful day out, hope you enjoyed it! Eat some cake!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
We Will Never Forget
Nine years ago today, I was in the sixth grade. Twelve years old, snuggled in bed safe and warm, and oblivious to what was occurring 75 miles northwest of Houston. My older sister aroused me from my deep slumber early in the morning to inform me that the Texas A&M Bonfire had collapsed.
The stack had fallen.
So many students (at least a greater majority) attending the University in the present time have no recollection of this event. They had only learned about it upon fish camp, or perhaps strolling the campus one day when they came upon the memorial.
I remember as if it were yesterday.
My older brothers were in College Station going to school (maybe the oldest one had graduated already, I can't remember) when the tragedy occurred, and my first thought was to make sure they were okay. My mother, of course, placed her call and made sure they were not on the Polo fields when it fell. They were both okay.
We were fortunate.
I sat and watched the television all morning. I watched as crew members removed log after log from the stack. I witness students jumping in to help whenever they deemed it necessary, hoping to recover their fellow Aggie family members. I saw helpless students drop to their knees to pray, the only thing they could do.
I cried.
I was shuffled off to school and taken away from my news outlet, but I still heard updates. I heard the number grow as people murmured in the hallway...2, 4, 6, 7, 11, etc. I felt so helpless. All I could do was watch. I clipped newspaper articles in the week after and made sure to keep them to make sure I would never forget.
I didn't need the newspaper articles.
What I felt that day was unexplainable. I was only twelve, but I had never felt more apart of the Aggie Family. I made my own memory ribbon and wore it to school over the next three days and continued to pray for the fallen 12 and 27 injured. A few weeks later we visited College Station and walked over to the Polo fields. My mother lost it. The atmosphere was amazing, both good and bad. Here was this area, roped off with police tape and orange temporary gating, where a tragic event occurred and where people lost loved ones and friends. Twelve had lost their lives, but there must have been over 40,000 sets of flowers, pots, rings, notes, and anything else the student body could think of laying beside the makeshift orange barriers. I later learned that at the time of the collapse students ran up and down their dorms yelling for everyone to go to the stack and help save those caught in the destruction. The football team and students came together and pulled off logs one by one with their own bare hands. The Aggie spirit was being tested.
The Aggie Spirit overcame.
Even in times of tragedy, we stood strong. Throughout the aftermath and the years to follow we helped in any way we could and made sure to never forget. I visited the memorial earlier this year in May, I walked away with a heavy heart. The events of November 18, 1999 were tragic, but we must never forget. Those students perished working on a tradition they loved at a school they held dear to their hearts, and for that reason we must treat them with the same devotion they gave to Texas A&M University. Now, I am not going to get into all the "should Bonfire be brought back to campus" argument. I don't believe I have the right to make that call, nor do I believe it to be the responsibility of anyone who was not affected by this event directly. We have to respect the families of the ones we lost. If they are comfortable with seeing one of A&M's greatest traditions burn again, then so be it, but until that time....
We must never forget.
The stack had fallen.
So many students (at least a greater majority) attending the University in the present time have no recollection of this event. They had only learned about it upon fish camp, or perhaps strolling the campus one day when they came upon the memorial.
I remember as if it were yesterday.
My older brothers were in College Station going to school (maybe the oldest one had graduated already, I can't remember) when the tragedy occurred, and my first thought was to make sure they were okay. My mother, of course, placed her call and made sure they were not on the Polo fields when it fell. They were both okay.
We were fortunate.
I sat and watched the television all morning. I watched as crew members removed log after log from the stack. I witness students jumping in to help whenever they deemed it necessary, hoping to recover their fellow Aggie family members. I saw helpless students drop to their knees to pray, the only thing they could do.
I cried.
I was shuffled off to school and taken away from my news outlet, but I still heard updates. I heard the number grow as people murmured in the hallway...2, 4, 6, 7, 11, etc. I felt so helpless. All I could do was watch. I clipped newspaper articles in the week after and made sure to keep them to make sure I would never forget.
I didn't need the newspaper articles.
What I felt that day was unexplainable. I was only twelve, but I had never felt more apart of the Aggie Family. I made my own memory ribbon and wore it to school over the next three days and continued to pray for the fallen 12 and 27 injured. A few weeks later we visited College Station and walked over to the Polo fields. My mother lost it. The atmosphere was amazing, both good and bad. Here was this area, roped off with police tape and orange temporary gating, where a tragic event occurred and where people lost loved ones and friends. Twelve had lost their lives, but there must have been over 40,000 sets of flowers, pots, rings, notes, and anything else the student body could think of laying beside the makeshift orange barriers. I later learned that at the time of the collapse students ran up and down their dorms yelling for everyone to go to the stack and help save those caught in the destruction. The football team and students came together and pulled off logs one by one with their own bare hands. The Aggie spirit was being tested.
The Aggie Spirit overcame.
Even in times of tragedy, we stood strong. Throughout the aftermath and the years to follow we helped in any way we could and made sure to never forget. I visited the memorial earlier this year in May, I walked away with a heavy heart. The events of November 18, 1999 were tragic, but we must never forget. Those students perished working on a tradition they loved at a school they held dear to their hearts, and for that reason we must treat them with the same devotion they gave to Texas A&M University. Now, I am not going to get into all the "should Bonfire be brought back to campus" argument. I don't believe I have the right to make that call, nor do I believe it to be the responsibility of anyone who was not affected by this event directly. We have to respect the families of the ones we lost. If they are comfortable with seeing one of A&M's greatest traditions burn again, then so be it, but until that time....
We must never forget.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Awkward display of emotion
I have always been an awkward person. Uncomfortable situations have always followed me around and now its at the point where I just embrace my dorkyness. Even the simple act of introducing myself or someone else is a task I can't seem to get down. I know I make it painfully awkward when I greet someone, or give them a hug goodbye, but I can't help it. I think the reason behind all of this is because I don't have a knowledge of societal boundaries. What I make up for in my academics (which isn't much) I lack in my social realm. For Example, I never know how much affection I am allowed to display for a fellow friend. I never want to come off as some creepy freak who is obsessed with other peoples' lives. I don't believe I am like this at all, but I fear that if I get to close to someone I will eventually push them away. In reality, I am probably doing the exact opposite.
Jordan's mother is a wonderful person, and I mean it. She undoubtedly goes down on my list as one of God's true survivors of the hardships of life. Everything that she has done and given up to provide a happy and secure life for her children is one of the most courageous and unselfish acts I have ever heard of. Lord knows times were not always perfect for this mother of two, but keeping her faith, she fought through it all and came out on top. She has the ability to spread and share her compassion with other people so easily, and when the opportunity arises to help out a friend in need she never hesitates. She is a great mother to her children, and a good friend of mine.
But how much is too much? How can I let her know how great of a person I think she is without pushing it too far? What are the rules? I don't know, and I may never find out, but I will go out on a limb and say that she brings a lot of happiness to a lot of people's lives, especially to someone who has the privilege of dating the son she so very finely raised. So thank you. Thank you, for being you and for helping fill a void in my life. If this is awkward enough, then so be it, for I cannot help it.
:)
Jordan's mother is a wonderful person, and I mean it. She undoubtedly goes down on my list as one of God's true survivors of the hardships of life. Everything that she has done and given up to provide a happy and secure life for her children is one of the most courageous and unselfish acts I have ever heard of. Lord knows times were not always perfect for this mother of two, but keeping her faith, she fought through it all and came out on top. She has the ability to spread and share her compassion with other people so easily, and when the opportunity arises to help out a friend in need she never hesitates. She is a great mother to her children, and a good friend of mine.
But how much is too much? How can I let her know how great of a person I think she is without pushing it too far? What are the rules? I don't know, and I may never find out, but I will go out on a limb and say that she brings a lot of happiness to a lot of people's lives, especially to someone who has the privilege of dating the son she so very finely raised. So thank you. Thank you, for being you and for helping fill a void in my life. If this is awkward enough, then so be it, for I cannot help it.
:)
Silence of Change
behold the days of yore
for times they cannot remain
no matter the effort you wish
objects are subjected to change
for though my heart is young
my experience is wise
and though I may not ponder
I can tell truth among lies
and yet it tears me apart
for thou has plunged one's eyes
ignorance shields the honesty
and apathy ceaselessly dies
change at times can be good
and yet, change can still be bad
what is it that you have done
to make my soul so mad?
but here the train it stops
you think I wish to care
your efforts prove unworthy
your tactics go without flair
for I am not choosing to condescend
and though it may yield a struggle
I am not here to dance with you
or wield anymore trouble
I will continue to go my way
to pursue what I have dreamed
you will continue to falsify
to live out what you have deemed
but say no hate when I have left
and am prospering down the road
while you remain behind lost and weary
afraid to carry the load
rejoice! For I will to see the world
and for this there lay a way
you cannot keep me from making a stride
and living out my day
its hard to see a friend refuse
what life has offered to give
a chance to grow, to experience life
a chance that you may live
So farwell, no need to weep
for I am not afraid
my sympathy lies within you
and the hate that you have made.
for times they cannot remain
no matter the effort you wish
objects are subjected to change
for though my heart is young
my experience is wise
and though I may not ponder
I can tell truth among lies
and yet it tears me apart
for thou has plunged one's eyes
ignorance shields the honesty
and apathy ceaselessly dies
change at times can be good
and yet, change can still be bad
what is it that you have done
to make my soul so mad?
but here the train it stops
you think I wish to care
your efforts prove unworthy
your tactics go without flair
for I am not choosing to condescend
and though it may yield a struggle
I am not here to dance with you
or wield anymore trouble
I will continue to go my way
to pursue what I have dreamed
you will continue to falsify
to live out what you have deemed
but say no hate when I have left
and am prospering down the road
while you remain behind lost and weary
afraid to carry the load
rejoice! For I will to see the world
and for this there lay a way
you cannot keep me from making a stride
and living out my day
its hard to see a friend refuse
what life has offered to give
a chance to grow, to experience life
a chance that you may live
So farwell, no need to weep
for I am not afraid
my sympathy lies within you
and the hate that you have made.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Brush and floss...no really...
OK, jumping right into the whole "I've never thought of that before" mood, here's a question: do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves?
Here's how I got to this thought....
I have had nothing but bad experiences with the dentist ever since I could remember. Once, I had to have my top two second premolars pulled before I could receive braces and I thought it was going to be no big deal. Little did I know it was going to be the most painful experience of my life. I remember that day as if it were yesterday, and I am sure the doctors (and my mother who, bless her heart, could hear me all the way out in the waiting room) can still hear me screaming in pain. Ever since then I have never had the cajones to jump back into a dental chair and risk experiencing that feeling over all over again.
Six years later, I am now paying the price.
I was eating a piece of candy corn the other day when the top of my back molar (tooth # 30 as Dr. Wolffe and Dr. Cotton would say) decided to break off and reveal a nasty little cavity. Excuse the bluntness of the next sentence, but as I held my chipped tooth in between my two fingers I had decided that maybe it was time to go to the dentists. I thought I was fine. I brush my teeth twice a day every day and do the occasional mouth wash. However, I won't lie, I don't floss.
Life lesson # 20, no matter what you think or believe, the dentists is actually telling the truth when he says you need to floss.
So now, I am scheduled to have my first ever root canal next Thursday at 10am. Oh the joys of Novocaine (which I swear, has something against me). On the bright side, my endodontist has a flat screen t.v. on the ceiling directly above the chair, so I get to watch whatever I want for 2 hours while he drills a giant hole in my tooth and rip out the nerve! Anyways (must not digress), as I was sitting in the chair during my preliminary exam (looking at the xrays, talking about my options, running some tests) I had the thought of what dentists do when its their time to reverse roles and stick their butts in the chair. I know they can't do it themselves (how cheap would that be?), but to be honest, whoever my dentist trusts to handle their teeth, I probably wouldn't mind having that same dentist doing a few tricks to mine. It was a weird and random thought, but it's got be even more weird for the dentist who gets to work on a fellow dentist.
Anywho, kind of a pointless entry but I have to get my mind off of my phobia. I WOULD like to thank Jordan for being a super sweet boyfriend and for being there for me. I know I am not dying, but come on ya'll, he insisted.
Plus, we don't have dental insurance so I am sure this is going to be REAL cheap.
Happy Smiles :)
Here's how I got to this thought....
I have had nothing but bad experiences with the dentist ever since I could remember. Once, I had to have my top two second premolars pulled before I could receive braces and I thought it was going to be no big deal. Little did I know it was going to be the most painful experience of my life. I remember that day as if it were yesterday, and I am sure the doctors (and my mother who, bless her heart, could hear me all the way out in the waiting room) can still hear me screaming in pain. Ever since then I have never had the cajones to jump back into a dental chair and risk experiencing that feeling over all over again.
Six years later, I am now paying the price.
I was eating a piece of candy corn the other day when the top of my back molar (tooth # 30 as Dr. Wolffe and Dr. Cotton would say) decided to break off and reveal a nasty little cavity. Excuse the bluntness of the next sentence, but as I held my chipped tooth in between my two fingers I had decided that maybe it was time to go to the dentists. I thought I was fine. I brush my teeth twice a day every day and do the occasional mouth wash. However, I won't lie, I don't floss.
Life lesson # 20, no matter what you think or believe, the dentists is actually telling the truth when he says you need to floss.
So now, I am scheduled to have my first ever root canal next Thursday at 10am. Oh the joys of Novocaine (which I swear, has something against me). On the bright side, my endodontist has a flat screen t.v. on the ceiling directly above the chair, so I get to watch whatever I want for 2 hours while he drills a giant hole in my tooth and rip out the nerve! Anyways (must not digress), as I was sitting in the chair during my preliminary exam (looking at the xrays, talking about my options, running some tests) I had the thought of what dentists do when its their time to reverse roles and stick their butts in the chair. I know they can't do it themselves (how cheap would that be?), but to be honest, whoever my dentist trusts to handle their teeth, I probably wouldn't mind having that same dentist doing a few tricks to mine. It was a weird and random thought, but it's got be even more weird for the dentist who gets to work on a fellow dentist.
Anywho, kind of a pointless entry but I have to get my mind off of my phobia. I WOULD like to thank Jordan for being a super sweet boyfriend and for being there for me. I know I am not dying, but come on ya'll, he insisted.
Plus, we don't have dental insurance so I am sure this is going to be REAL cheap.
Happy Smiles :)
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
So long, Bitter Betty
Wait! This can't be Shirley's blog! She has a depressing title without a description. Where did it go? Where is the "debbie the downer" headliner? Well, folks, the "bitter betty" title has been officially wiped off the face of the blogger planet. Why, you may ask? Because, I realized that, although my intentions were not so, the title was leaning a little on the gloomy side and for a person like me, that just would not suffice.
So...why did you pick the new one?
Simple, I am a college student currently attending one of the best universities in the State of Texas and the nation (Whoop!). My brain is constantly being jammed packed with information every day about science, history, math (I will admit, I have avoided this at the best of my abilities), and the music of the Americas (can anyone say Trinidad steel pans?). Of course I am going to be having mini revelations on a daily basis, but the best part is, these are not directly related to my academics. I believe that sure, while college does supply you with more knowledge over the particular major you chose, it forces you to think in whole new ways. I can actually hold intelligent conversations (well, sort of) with my dad and older siblings. It's great! I am finding out that learning new things is one of the great aspects of life, along with many other life lessons. So, I hope you don't mind if I come home every now and then and regurgitate my epiphanies two to three times a week on blogger.
Hey, I've got to have something to do when Jordan is playing Xbox, don't I?
So...why did you pick the new one?
Simple, I am a college student currently attending one of the best universities in the State of Texas and the nation (Whoop!). My brain is constantly being jammed packed with information every day about science, history, math (I will admit, I have avoided this at the best of my abilities), and the music of the Americas (can anyone say Trinidad steel pans?). Of course I am going to be having mini revelations on a daily basis, but the best part is, these are not directly related to my academics. I believe that sure, while college does supply you with more knowledge over the particular major you chose, it forces you to think in whole new ways. I can actually hold intelligent conversations (well, sort of) with my dad and older siblings. It's great! I am finding out that learning new things is one of the great aspects of life, along with many other life lessons. So, I hope you don't mind if I come home every now and then and regurgitate my epiphanies two to three times a week on blogger.
Hey, I've got to have something to do when Jordan is playing Xbox, don't I?
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
For tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun
Life is stressful. Very stressful in fact. The rollercoaster emotions of daily life and the constant ups and downs of your luck drain every ounce of energy out of your body. Exhaustion, fatigue, malaise, whatever you want to call it, will always be prevalent, which in turn causes more stress. Does it ever end? Does anyone ever have true happiness and a life without sudden upturns for the worse? I believe not. Damn, maybe I am a little pessimistic. But there’s the catch; in an overpowering pessimistic society, somehow, you have to find a way to be optimistic. In every pessimism there is optimism (have I confused the shit out of you yet?). I believe everything happens for a reason, and that sometimes, shit just happens. However, as long as you have faith and remain positive, an enlightened opportunity will arise. Recently, I have been down on my luck. Low on cash, mounting bills, education overload, and an incapacitating inability to find employment can give anyone a serious case of the blues. Nonetheless, I still find myself waking each morning with a smile (after, of course, debating with myself for 30 minutes on whether or not I should just skip class and go back to that wonderful feeling of sleep) and tackling the ever growing stresses of the day. Jordan has constantly asked me how I remain in this state of positive attitude. My answer is always the same. Life sucks, it’s supposed to suck, and it is most definitely going to be hard. But, the sooner you accept this inevitableness of life then the easier it is to deal with daily obstacles. Plus, everything, and even minor small things, become so much more enjoyable that eventually the good outweighs the bad. Each time I start to feel down I think of all the wonderful people and things I have in my life, and pretty soon, the problem doesn’t seem so bad anymore. Too many people worry about too many things. If everyone just appreciated everything that God blessed them with then the world would be such a more beautiful and peaceful place.
For instance, the reason I can keep such a positive attitude when times are hard is because I know I have the world’s greatest family ready to help me whenever it need be. Just being able to go home and laugh with my dad, spend time with my sisters, or hang out with my cousins can make a day of hell seem like paradise. The previous seven days, I had one of the most stressful school weeks this semester yet. Five tests in four days, all around my twenty-first birthday. I spent ten days living in our campus library studying for ten hours straight. I thought I was going to go mad. I was reciting rock types and mineral qualities in my sleep, shouting ancient Greek philosophy as I made dinner, and deciphering the tone, timbre, and form of each musical piece I heard on the radio, computer, etc. However, the end of the week came, and lo and behold who was there to save me from my week of hellacious studying and test taking but my family. My sisters and close friends all traveled from Houston to help me celebrate my birthday accordingly, and just their presence was the best birthday gift I could have received.
When life starts to become a challenge and you find it hard to be in a good mood, you have to look on the bright side. For every raincloud lies a rainbow on the other end. Some happy endings are not so easy to come by. Patience and faith are huge ingredients in pursuing happiness. I know my life is far from perfect. Hell, I am far from perfect. But I have faith in my lord and know that if I can battle through his tests here on earth I will be rewarded in the end. In the meantime, now that I am broke, unemployed, and overwhelmed with scholastic duties, I am going to do my best to remain positive. This week, and even this past month, hasn’t been so great but I won’t let that get me down. I have a great family that I get to see this weekend, and the next weekend, and possibly the next two weekends after that. If you had to ask me, the days ahead look good.
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