One of the hardest things I find about writing is that I can never do it on command. The power of my words is played heavily off my emotions. If I don't feel the inspiration then I usually come up with diddly squat to put on paper. Nonetheless, there are times where I'm left alone with my thoughts and the ideas and words come flowing from my mind with ease. A week ago, Jordan and I were driving home from Santa Rosa Beach, Florida. A 20 hour drive covering 1,200 miles. During long trips we like to split up the driving time and I was lucky enough to cover the 6 hour stretch from Northern Alabama into Illinois on the way home. I had the bluegrass satellite station blaring and Jordan was asleep in the passenger seat. It was only me, the road and my thoughts, and thus the inspiration for the post below:
The weather's turned colder
we're another year older
and it's been so long since I've heard from you.
So we pack up our lovings
for a year's worth of comings
for Christmas in that southern town hue.
And it's 500 miles halfway to family
and then 500 more to do.
We've longed for a reunion
and that's just what we're doin'
but I've still got 500 miles to you.
The weather's been hot
and our workloads we've fought
and it's been too long since I've hugged you.
So we'll take a vacation
and drive across the nation
for a beach stay in the Florida dunes.
And it's 500 miles halfway to family
and then 500 more to do.
We've longed for a reunion
and that's just what we're doin'
but I've still got 500 miles to you.
The nights they are quiet
my loneliness I hide it
It's been 20 days since I've kissed you.
But you'll soon leave the cotton
that you tend to so often
and I can't wait until I see you.
Cause it's 5,000 miles until I see you baby
24 hours flying over the sea
I've longed for the reunion
and I know you'll be here soon and
it's 5,000 miles to me.
(Yes, this is a song. If you want to hear the guitar accompaniment, well then I guess you'll have to come to Iowa.)
- Shirley
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Forever More
A single man walks the earth
In search for meaning and love
Knowing in faith that always
A plan is set from above
One day the man meets woman
And both their souls collide
For the plan is set in action
They know this can't be denied
And so they make their promise
A vow never spoken before
They swear to love each other
From now and forever more
They grow in love and devotion
Building a home rooted in Christ
Their promises are never broken
For any temptation nor heist
The years fly by quickly
Gray hair places what was before
And still the man and woman
Love now and forever more
But lo a challenge arises
As pain begins to set in
The woman clutches her rosary
For she knows what's to begin
The labs and white costs preach
But the couple sees not a chore
The man hold her hand tightly
Through this and forever more
The poison drips slowly
And a deadline is all but set
But the courageous feel no fear
The end is not here yet
Through sickness they sing and pray
And the woman her life she fights for
But she grows weak and with her eyes
Says she can fight no more
The man holds her gently
As her spirit leaver her side
And her soul finds its peace
As the man softly cries
His tears tell the story
But he knows as was told before
He kisses her cheek softly
Promising to love her forever more
And the woman she rejoices
And her eyes how they open
Her heart is filled with love
As she enters the gates of heaven
And just as the man promised
And our Savior did before
She and we can live in his kingdom
Now and forever more.
Dedicated to the memory of a woman who ended her fight against cancer last month and a man who loved her dearly.
In search for meaning and love
Knowing in faith that always
A plan is set from above
One day the man meets woman
And both their souls collide
For the plan is set in action
They know this can't be denied
And so they make their promise
A vow never spoken before
They swear to love each other
From now and forever more
They grow in love and devotion
Building a home rooted in Christ
Their promises are never broken
For any temptation nor heist
The years fly by quickly
Gray hair places what was before
And still the man and woman
Love now and forever more
But lo a challenge arises
As pain begins to set in
The woman clutches her rosary
For she knows what's to begin
The labs and white costs preach
But the couple sees not a chore
The man hold her hand tightly
Through this and forever more
The poison drips slowly
And a deadline is all but set
But the courageous feel no fear
The end is not here yet
Through sickness they sing and pray
And the woman her life she fights for
But she grows weak and with her eyes
Says she can fight no more
The man holds her gently
As her spirit leaver her side
And her soul finds its peace
As the man softly cries
His tears tell the story
But he knows as was told before
He kisses her cheek softly
Promising to love her forever more
And the woman she rejoices
And her eyes how they open
Her heart is filled with love
As she enters the gates of heaven
And just as the man promised
And our Savior did before
She and we can live in his kingdom
Now and forever more.
Dedicated to the memory of a woman who ended her fight against cancer last month and a man who loved her dearly.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
A long-winded Update
Howdy from Ankeny!
Look! I used the word "howdy!" After a full year in the Midwest, I seem to be retaining at least some of my southern vernacular. Although, I can't say the same for my Texan Drawl. This has caused me a bit of depression over the past few weeks and I am quickly learning to accept it. However, losing my twang has been a hard pill to swallow. I am now dropping my Os and Is and using common Iowan phrases, such as "you know" and "oh yeah." I hope to alleviate this situation by traveling down to the Lone Star State in less than 7 days, but I'll get to those details in a minute.
One year. One whole year has passed since Jordan and I made the decision to move north. A lot has changed in the past 365 days, and I am proud to say that most have been blessings, with one or two rough spots along the way. Not only has our location been an adjustment, but so has our state of mind. I am quite happy I have chosen to document the path of my life. Rereading old posts is fun and fascinating. I get to witness how I grow and mature as I advance in age, and I know this is only the beginning.
I'm glad you have also chosen to enjoy the ride with me. I know blogging can be a bit narcissistic at times, but I feel with me and Jordan being so far away from families, this has been a great avenue to let loved ones and friends know all the minute details of our lives that we may not get to share over the phone or through email. Everyone's lives are getting so busy as we grow older, and we are no exception.
Since it has been a while since I last blogged, I figured I'd give you all an update and maybe hit on some of the highlights over the past year.
- December 2010 - Both me and Jordan graduated from the wonderful Texas A&M University with Bachelor degrees. Now that school had ended, we needed to decide on our futures. Jordan tossed back and forth between two job positions as I began to work full time, fully prepared to move across the country if needed. Jordan secretly snuck down to Moulton and asked my father for my hand in marriage.
- January 2011 - After prepping to relocate to the metropolis of Minneapolis, MN Jordan broke the news to me that he had, in fact, landed a dream job with John Deere and Co. in Des Moines, IA. He was to start work at the end of February so we quickly had to change our original plans and began preparing for a move to Iowa instead. I put in my two weeks at work and we told our families the exciting news.
- February 2011 - After locating a place to live in Ankeny, IA Jordan and I treated ourselves to a ski trip in Aspen, CO. We had been planning this trip for over a year and invested quite a bit of cash. We were fully prepared to spoil ourselves for a week in the mountains. Little did I know, Jordan was also prepared to pop the question. We were engaged on the 12th and told our (not so surprised) families a few days later. We packed up our belongings and made the long road-trip to Iowa for the first time, officially moving in on the 21st.
- March 2011 - After getting our feet wet in our new Midwestern lifestyle, I headed back down to Texas for a few days to help out with our Annual Team ReJoyce Washer Tournament to raise funds for cancer research. Jordan went south to help out a dealership and deal with his first real test at his new job. He passed with flying colors while our family raised nearly $15,000 at our annual fundraiser.
- April 2011 - Jordan now in full swing with Deere and Co. kept his travels up by heading to Memphis for two weeks. Just in time for the deadly "Tornado Outbreak" of 2011. I prayed in church, attended Aggie Muster, and celebrated Easter with my cousins in Ames, IA. Jordan returned home unscathed by the storms. Plus, my sister announced she was pregnant with her first child!
- May 2011 - It was only a few days that we were reunited in Iowa before Jordan made his first trip overseas to Australia in the beginning of May. While he spent the month in Brisbane, I headed back down south to watch my lovely cousin and friend walked down the aisles at their respective weddings, did a little wedding planning of my own, and attended the final Stevenson 8 High School graduation.
- June 2011 - A relatively calm month. A friend of mine had landed an internship in Waterloo, IA and she came down for a weekend visit. It was nice to catch up and was comforting being able to have a familiar face around in strange territory. She was a native of the Midwest and filled me in on the northern lifestyle. Jordan didn't have to travel for work and he and Emma got to watch the Fightin' Texas Aggies play in the CWS.
- July 2011 - I finally got to meet the neighbors (Jordan had previously hung out with them a few times while I was away) and spent the 4th of July holidays watching contraband explode in the sky. We both got to fly down for the Jamboree, but said our bittersweet goodbyes to each other at the end of the weekend. Jordan left for Brazil for a month and a half and I decided to hang out down south until he returned in late August.
- August 2011 - The peak of the Texas drought hit, ungodly hot temperatures soared, and I spent most of my time putting the final touches on our wedding plans and waiting out the days in the dry country spending time with my dad. Jordan had a ball traveling the country of Brazil, eating their ethnic foods, and gaining all the weight that came with it. SO worth it in my opinion.
- September 2011 - WE GOT HITCHED! Best weeks of my life. We spent our honeymoon in Antigua and did nothing but sit on the beach and relax every single minute we could. Someday we will get to do that again.
- October 2011 - We returned to Iowa on my 24th Birthday, but had to make a quick turnaround and head down for a funeral. Jordan's dear sweet Nanny had passed and we still miss her to this day. We love you Nanny and think about you all the time. We got to watch the Aggie football team play in Ames and experienced our first Iowan Halloween, or as they call it "Beggars' Night." Everyone must come here and experience this. SO FUN!
- November 2011 - A calm month as Jordan's work was slowing down and the temperatures were getting cooler. We spent our first Thanksgiving as a married couple by under-cooking the turkey and eating with our lovely neighbors instead. We got our first snow on the 11th and I had to shovel the driveway for the first time. Not a fun experience. We also got to travel to California to watch my cousin get married. Wonderful weekend on the west coast!
- December 2011 - Crazy month! Another quick trip to Brazil for Jordan, but not before we were notified that the house we were renting was going into foreclosure. After a depressing few weeks and contemplating our options we came to terms with the situation. My sister and her husband gave birth to their first child, my 4th nephew, on the 10th. We ran away from the "mild" Midwest winter and spent two weeks in Texas with family. Rang in the New Year by celebrating a Boehm wedding and visiting College Station.
- January 2012 - Life kicked in to gear after a quiet Christmas Break. I began looking for jobs (eek!) and touched up my resume. I hit the pavement hard by mid month and had a few interviews. By the end of the month I was notified that my hard work had paid off. I got my first big girl job! I saw dollar signs, Jordan saw tractor toys.
- February 2012 - I began work and had to go through an adjustment period. It had been a year since I held a position so getting back into the working lifestyle was going to take while. To this day I am still pretty busy and come home exhausted, but thankfully I married a great man and Jordan has been there for awesome support. He is even cooking, and cooking well!
March has started off great. Jordan celebrated 24 years yesterday and in just 6 days we get to travel down to Texas to help fight cancer once again. I'll get to see my aunts, uncles, and friends for the first time in almost 6 months. I am way excited. Let's hope the drought busting rains take a break next weekend!
We've gotten updates on our house situation slowly over the past few months, and none of it has been good news. Nonetheless, we remained positive. We prayed, analyzed the facts and looked at our options. We've made a decision on our next plans and hopefully we can update you all on those soon.
And so there you have it. A full year's worth of highlights. I look back and think about what has changed. Our family has grown exponentially, I have fallen in love with the Midwest lifestyle, and can even handle temperatures in the 20s now without complaint. Jordan and I both agree that we are immensely happy with our lives. We feel totally blessed by everything and everyone and couldn't imagine being anywhere else at the moment. We look to the future and see what's ahead with anticipation. Children? Maybe not right at the moment, or for the next few years, but it's a possibility. Calling Europe home? Maybe! Only time will tell. The only thing I know is we are happy with our current state and look forward to the road ahead.
I'll try to blog soon, and promise the next post won't be as lengthy (or boring). I hope everyone's 2012 is going well, and I can't wait to see all you again, whenever that may be :)
Until next time,
Prosit!
Look! I used the word "howdy!" After a full year in the Midwest, I seem to be retaining at least some of my southern vernacular. Although, I can't say the same for my Texan Drawl. This has caused me a bit of depression over the past few weeks and I am quickly learning to accept it. However, losing my twang has been a hard pill to swallow. I am now dropping my Os and Is and using common Iowan phrases, such as "you know" and "oh yeah." I hope to alleviate this situation by traveling down to the Lone Star State in less than 7 days, but I'll get to those details in a minute.
One year. One whole year has passed since Jordan and I made the decision to move north. A lot has changed in the past 365 days, and I am proud to say that most have been blessings, with one or two rough spots along the way. Not only has our location been an adjustment, but so has our state of mind. I am quite happy I have chosen to document the path of my life. Rereading old posts is fun and fascinating. I get to witness how I grow and mature as I advance in age, and I know this is only the beginning.
I'm glad you have also chosen to enjoy the ride with me. I know blogging can be a bit narcissistic at times, but I feel with me and Jordan being so far away from families, this has been a great avenue to let loved ones and friends know all the minute details of our lives that we may not get to share over the phone or through email. Everyone's lives are getting so busy as we grow older, and we are no exception.
Since it has been a while since I last blogged, I figured I'd give you all an update and maybe hit on some of the highlights over the past year.
- December 2010 - Both me and Jordan graduated from the wonderful Texas A&M University with Bachelor degrees. Now that school had ended, we needed to decide on our futures. Jordan tossed back and forth between two job positions as I began to work full time, fully prepared to move across the country if needed. Jordan secretly snuck down to Moulton and asked my father for my hand in marriage.
- February 2011 - After locating a place to live in Ankeny, IA Jordan and I treated ourselves to a ski trip in Aspen, CO. We had been planning this trip for over a year and invested quite a bit of cash. We were fully prepared to spoil ourselves for a week in the mountains. Little did I know, Jordan was also prepared to pop the question. We were engaged on the 12th and told our (not so surprised) families a few days later. We packed up our belongings and made the long road-trip to Iowa for the first time, officially moving in on the 21st.
- March 2011 - After getting our feet wet in our new Midwestern lifestyle, I headed back down to Texas for a few days to help out with our Annual Team ReJoyce Washer Tournament to raise funds for cancer research. Jordan went south to help out a dealership and deal with his first real test at his new job. He passed with flying colors while our family raised nearly $15,000 at our annual fundraiser.
- April 2011 - Jordan now in full swing with Deere and Co. kept his travels up by heading to Memphis for two weeks. Just in time for the deadly "Tornado Outbreak" of 2011. I prayed in church, attended Aggie Muster, and celebrated Easter with my cousins in Ames, IA. Jordan returned home unscathed by the storms. Plus, my sister announced she was pregnant with her first child!
- May 2011 - It was only a few days that we were reunited in Iowa before Jordan made his first trip overseas to Australia in the beginning of May. While he spent the month in Brisbane, I headed back down south to watch my lovely cousin and friend walked down the aisles at their respective weddings, did a little wedding planning of my own, and attended the final Stevenson 8 High School graduation.
- June 2011 - A relatively calm month. A friend of mine had landed an internship in Waterloo, IA and she came down for a weekend visit. It was nice to catch up and was comforting being able to have a familiar face around in strange territory. She was a native of the Midwest and filled me in on the northern lifestyle. Jordan didn't have to travel for work and he and Emma got to watch the Fightin' Texas Aggies play in the CWS.
- July 2011 - I finally got to meet the neighbors (Jordan had previously hung out with them a few times while I was away) and spent the 4th of July holidays watching contraband explode in the sky. We both got to fly down for the Jamboree, but said our bittersweet goodbyes to each other at the end of the weekend. Jordan left for Brazil for a month and a half and I decided to hang out down south until he returned in late August.
- August 2011 - The peak of the Texas drought hit, ungodly hot temperatures soared, and I spent most of my time putting the final touches on our wedding plans and waiting out the days in the dry country spending time with my dad. Jordan had a ball traveling the country of Brazil, eating their ethnic foods, and gaining all the weight that came with it. SO worth it in my opinion.
- September 2011 - WE GOT HITCHED! Best weeks of my life. We spent our honeymoon in Antigua and did nothing but sit on the beach and relax every single minute we could. Someday we will get to do that again.
- October 2011 - We returned to Iowa on my 24th Birthday, but had to make a quick turnaround and head down for a funeral. Jordan's dear sweet Nanny had passed and we still miss her to this day. We love you Nanny and think about you all the time. We got to watch the Aggie football team play in Ames and experienced our first Iowan Halloween, or as they call it "Beggars' Night." Everyone must come here and experience this. SO FUN!
- November 2011 - A calm month as Jordan's work was slowing down and the temperatures were getting cooler. We spent our first Thanksgiving as a married couple by under-cooking the turkey and eating with our lovely neighbors instead. We got our first snow on the 11th and I had to shovel the driveway for the first time. Not a fun experience. We also got to travel to California to watch my cousin get married. Wonderful weekend on the west coast!
- December 2011 - Crazy month! Another quick trip to Brazil for Jordan, but not before we were notified that the house we were renting was going into foreclosure. After a depressing few weeks and contemplating our options we came to terms with the situation. My sister and her husband gave birth to their first child, my 4th nephew, on the 10th. We ran away from the "mild" Midwest winter and spent two weeks in Texas with family. Rang in the New Year by celebrating a Boehm wedding and visiting College Station.
- January 2012 - Life kicked in to gear after a quiet Christmas Break. I began looking for jobs (eek!) and touched up my resume. I hit the pavement hard by mid month and had a few interviews. By the end of the month I was notified that my hard work had paid off. I got my first big girl job! I saw dollar signs, Jordan saw tractor toys.
- February 2012 - I began work and had to go through an adjustment period. It had been a year since I held a position so getting back into the working lifestyle was going to take while. To this day I am still pretty busy and come home exhausted, but thankfully I married a great man and Jordan has been there for awesome support. He is even cooking, and cooking well!
March has started off great. Jordan celebrated 24 years yesterday and in just 6 days we get to travel down to Texas to help fight cancer once again. I'll get to see my aunts, uncles, and friends for the first time in almost 6 months. I am way excited. Let's hope the drought busting rains take a break next weekend!
We've gotten updates on our house situation slowly over the past few months, and none of it has been good news. Nonetheless, we remained positive. We prayed, analyzed the facts and looked at our options. We've made a decision on our next plans and hopefully we can update you all on those soon.
And so there you have it. A full year's worth of highlights. I look back and think about what has changed. Our family has grown exponentially, I have fallen in love with the Midwest lifestyle, and can even handle temperatures in the 20s now without complaint. Jordan and I both agree that we are immensely happy with our lives. We feel totally blessed by everything and everyone and couldn't imagine being anywhere else at the moment. We look to the future and see what's ahead with anticipation. Children? Maybe not right at the moment, or for the next few years, but it's a possibility. Calling Europe home? Maybe! Only time will tell. The only thing I know is we are happy with our current state and look forward to the road ahead.
I'll try to blog soon, and promise the next post won't be as lengthy (or boring). I hope everyone's 2012 is going well, and I can't wait to see all you again, whenever that may be :)
Until next time,
Prosit!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Encouragement
I think tonight I am going to be a little whiny and divulge you all in my latest self-revelation. I hate the fact this happened, but I can't deny it didn't either. Those who hold close relationships with me may have noticed, and I apologize. For the past few months I have been in a funk. A funk, I now believe, was inevitable to happen.
Perhaps this is a normal part of life. When we reach milestones we can't help but take a look at ourselves and examine what is deep within. We ask ourselves many questions, such as: "am I happy?" "Am I contributing something of value to society?" "Have I failed anyone?"
I couldn't escape my self-evaluation. No one was judging me but myself, and I tore my self-esteem apart. Of all the inquiries I continuously asked myself, I never had a good answer. I felt like a failure in life. I had a college degree but no job. I had an amazingly brand-new husband, but felt like a worthless wife. I witnessed many of my peers land awesome careers and a few family members started to raise their families. I quickly felt like my only contributions in life were limited to vacuumed carpets and feeding the dog. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life while others my age were bringing in paychecks. I felt behind, anxious, restless and angry.
I felt worthless.
I neglected everything that brought joy to my life. I turned away from music, telling myself I sucked. I stopped writing and believed I was not good enough to make anything of it. Sure, I can put a sentence together, but a whole story? Forget it. I had no drive, no discipline and absolutely no motivation.
I was a mess.
Jordan, oh so sweet Jordan, helped me one night. We talked it out for a few hours dissecting every little thing that bothered me. I let him in on my self-evaluation and kept asking him why my results were so negative and demeaning. I realized I was tired of feeling the way I did, and he helped me find a way out of it.
I searched within myself for my own answers. I reflected on many things, focusing on my faith and prayed for a better attitude. I knew I had a lot to be thankful for and I shouldn't be so quick to compare myself to others. In time, I began to come around.
I picked up my guitar again, relearned a few songs and set new goals for myself. I began to pick up a pen a little more often and write down a few words here and there. I realized I needed to focus on what I did well and be proud of it, no matter how minute I or anyone else may feel it was. I figured out what I needed to do to feel more like myself and not so much like a failure. It was as if I awoke one morning and I saw my life in an entirely new light. I was content. I was focused. I was ready to take charge again.
And if it wasn't for the man I married, I'd probably still be sulking in my pity party. Working a job I hated just to pay the bills. He pushes me to be a better person and encourages me so much to make me believe I can do anything I want to in this life.
With him as my husband, I sure as hell can :)
Perhaps this is a normal part of life. When we reach milestones we can't help but take a look at ourselves and examine what is deep within. We ask ourselves many questions, such as: "am I happy?" "Am I contributing something of value to society?" "Have I failed anyone?"
I couldn't escape my self-evaluation. No one was judging me but myself, and I tore my self-esteem apart. Of all the inquiries I continuously asked myself, I never had a good answer. I felt like a failure in life. I had a college degree but no job. I had an amazingly brand-new husband, but felt like a worthless wife. I witnessed many of my peers land awesome careers and a few family members started to raise their families. I quickly felt like my only contributions in life were limited to vacuumed carpets and feeding the dog. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life while others my age were bringing in paychecks. I felt behind, anxious, restless and angry.
I felt worthless.
I neglected everything that brought joy to my life. I turned away from music, telling myself I sucked. I stopped writing and believed I was not good enough to make anything of it. Sure, I can put a sentence together, but a whole story? Forget it. I had no drive, no discipline and absolutely no motivation.
I was a mess.
Jordan, oh so sweet Jordan, helped me one night. We talked it out for a few hours dissecting every little thing that bothered me. I let him in on my self-evaluation and kept asking him why my results were so negative and demeaning. I realized I was tired of feeling the way I did, and he helped me find a way out of it.
I searched within myself for my own answers. I reflected on many things, focusing on my faith and prayed for a better attitude. I knew I had a lot to be thankful for and I shouldn't be so quick to compare myself to others. In time, I began to come around.
I picked up my guitar again, relearned a few songs and set new goals for myself. I began to pick up a pen a little more often and write down a few words here and there. I realized I needed to focus on what I did well and be proud of it, no matter how minute I or anyone else may feel it was. I figured out what I needed to do to feel more like myself and not so much like a failure. It was as if I awoke one morning and I saw my life in an entirely new light. I was content. I was focused. I was ready to take charge again.
And if it wasn't for the man I married, I'd probably still be sulking in my pity party. Working a job I hated just to pay the bills. He pushes me to be a better person and encourages me so much to make me believe I can do anything I want to in this life.
With him as my husband, I sure as hell can :)
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