Yeshishmattia.
When in doubt, spell it out phonetically.
Thanks, Mom :)
So yes, things have been crazy. Amazing fun, but crazy nonetheless. We're talking about Washer Tournament amazing success stories, multiple 16 hour car trips, Texas weather, bridal dress shopping, flower and centerpiece decisions, and reconciliations with old high school classmates. Soooooo much to go into detail about...but I know no one wants to REALLY hear about all that...right?
You just want the second installment of the Boredom Chronicles, don't you? And to know WHAT HAPPENED TO KALE??????
OK, here you go! The second installment. Guess the roadtrip news will have to wait.
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EMMA
I still remember that day as if it only happened yesterday. I can recall the look on his face, the pain in his heart, and the very clothes he was wearing. I find myself not being able to recollect a lot of memories in my life. I can barely remember most of my childhood, which is just fine by me. There is not a whole lot about those tender years that I want to keep in mind. I did okay in school. Useless information is probably the only thing I am good about remembering…except for that fateful day. I do not see it as a curse in anyway. My guess is there are just some things God does not want us to forget.
I do not regret the day I met Toben Kolar.
Now, had he never walked into my life, would things have been different? Perhaps, but it has never been part of my philosophy or fate to question the actions of our God. Things must happen for a reason. At least, that is what I keep telling myself. Why else would the events of that dreadful day have taken place?
I do not regret the day I met Toben.
I do not blame him for anything. I see him as the human being responsible for bringing Kale into my life, not the one who took him away. I understand the pain and blame he feels for what happened. If it were me, I am sure I would be the same way. I have tried to make it obvious to him that I do not believe he is at fault, but there is only so much one person can do for another. I decided to let him grieve in the way he deems fit for himself. We all handle death differently. Myself, I chose not to talk about it with anyone. Not my parents, not my school counselor, no one. There is only one person I will ever feel comfortable about discussing that day with, but he will never listen and I would never dare put him through any more pain. Toben has struggled with enough inner turmoil. I do not want to be the one to bring it all back up. I guess you could say we kept our distances for a while. I am not sure what he did to get over the tragedy, but I tried my best to let him know I didn’t blame him.
Six years ago, I was simply Emma May. Senior class president and honor roll student. I was involved with just about any organization you could think of. Cutler is not the kind of city that holds a lot of part time job positions for little ladies such as myself. So, instead of waiting tables at the local bar and grill, I decided to be an active student instead. I held almost every title a high school student could claim. Well…except perhaps homecoming queen or anything like that. Those sorts of positions never enticed me too much. I left those roles for the more pretty and sophisticated type of girls. I am more of what you could call a “hands on” female. I am not afraid to get in the knick of things and get dirty. I may have decent semi-curly brown hair and a pair or brown eyes that could melt a guys heart, but I never dawdle on those features about myself. It may sound conceited, but in the end it doesn’t bother me much to admit that I am not your typical Southern Belle. Don’t let me fool you. I’ll doll up whenever necessary and appropriate. My closet is of decent size and I have worn a pair of heels more than once. But my talents lay outside of the fashion industry. If that makes all you other ladies a little uncomfortable…well, tough.
I don’t really give a damn.
After high school, I went on to college just like any other average teenager. I graduated and came back to Cutler to help support our tiny community. During my years in higher education, I might have changed a bit. My priorities may have shifted and my eyes probably got a bit clearer to what was around me. It took about two years before Toben had the guts to approach me. We went to the same University and ran into each other one day on campus. I could tell he was still healing, and I saw the amount of aging the mourning had done to his good looks. I felt bad for Toben, but our blossoming friendship as a result of that fateful run-in on campus was not due to any kind of sympathy I felt for him. It was nice to have a familiar face around, and I’ll admit, I saw glimpses of Kale in him too. So yes, a part of it was pure selfishness, but in the end, I liked spending time with Toben. He was always so quiet, a good listener and a great escape from all the bullshit university studies stirs up.
I do not regret the day I met Toben Kolar.
I know what you really want, though. I bet you are sitting here, wishing I would open up about what happened that day. Well, I will have to apologize and say the story of what happened with Kale and Toben is not mine to tell. It has taken me a long time to get over what happened. Losing someone you love is never an easy battle to wage. Perhaps we never completely heal and that is why I can’t talk to you about it. I just want you to know that I don’t blame Toben, and neither should anyone else. Toben has always been a great friend to me, even before the tragedy struck. The day I met Toben is a day I will always remember. It is a happy memory and the one I prefer over any others.
What is that you say? You’re telling me that Toben is in love with me? You want to know if I knew this?
Well bless your heart….
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