Oh, College Football. You are so good at keeping me out of the library on Saturdays (not that that's a hard thing to do), I am not sure if I should commend you or not. You see, I really should be on campus. Reading about motherhood and the second shift. Choosing academic sources wisely and collectively. Getting my annotations together and organized. But no, you're enticing and competitive atmosphere that you bring into my home every 6th day of the week has me reeling in excitement. I just can't manage to get off the couch. Throw in the fact that the vegetable drawer in my fridge is loaded with, not nutritious and organic green vegetables, or even fruit for that matter, but ice cold Shiner Blonde and Bock. May I add that this is my final semester of college? That I am about halfway done with my final 16 weeks of school, and I have absolutely no room for procrastination and failure? I don't think you really care College Football, whether I graduate or not, and that sort of hurts my feelings.

You are making this relationship very difficult. I was always told that compromising is very important in keeping a relationship together, and it seems you have not kept up with your half of the deal. Must you be on every weekend? Must you schedule the most interesting and action packed games on the Saturdays when I should really be in library, studying and researching to my heart's content? You are making it very difficult for me to finish my last semester in college. All I ask is for you to just give a little.

I hope you take this conversation seriously, NCAA football, because I do not think my father, nor my federal student loans, will find it very funny if I have to stay another 16 weeks in school because you could not get your act together. So shape up. I need you to cooperate.