Six Years Ago

It only seems fitting that today be the rainiest day we’ve had all summer. I guess the heavens decided to cry along with my heart today. Maybe the skies were making up for all the tears I have refused to let fall not only today but in the days past. Six years sounds like a long time. Hell, in six years one can go through all four years of high school and have 2 years of college under their belt. There is a great deal of maturing a person undergoes in six years, regardless of age. Why should I be any different? Six years ago today I was 14, two months shy of my 15^th birthday and approximately a week and a half short of starting my freshman year of high school. How much have I learned and grown since that day? Maybe a little more than I wanted too. However, I have no choice in the matter. The lord has his reasons and I truly believe things happen for a reason. I think in six years’ time some of those reasons have become evident.

Six years after August 5, 2002 I find myself sitting in a chair listening to the rain patter against my bedroom window, about to finish a college paper, and I can’t help but stare at the clock on my computer, the date screaming out its dark and hurtful memories. Nonetheless, I believe after six years, even though the memories still bear a great deal of pain, I have grown and matured enough to accept my past. Of course, I wish she were still here with me today helping me with my school assignments, telling me all about our family history, and gossiping about Jordan. But, I think a level of acceptance has finally crept its way into my thoughts. On this day every year I am no longer struck with the pangs of longing for her return or questioning her departure. Instead, I am celebrating her life and the time (even though small) we spent together. Once I was worried the world would completely forget and move on, and no one would ever talk or remember her ever again. Well, I was right, the world has moved on, and so has my life. I realized that even though the world has moved on and accepted that she is no longer apart of the earth’s everyday happenings, she is still very much a part of who I am and my life. My mother will forever be remembered as long as I keep her alive in my thoughts and in my memories. So today isn’t about remembering the day she left us. Yes, I know that part of our lives will be there forever, no matter how hard we try and forget, but that’s the point. We will never forget.

I will never forget my mother, I will never forget the way she made me laugh, smile, and could always turn a bad day into a great one. I will never forget the time we shared, or the day when that time ended, but I will also never forget her for the type of person she has allowed me to grow into today. A person can mature a great deal in six years, but a person can never forget how special another person was, even if the last time they saw each other was six years ago.